Divergent series: Allegiant Alternate ending
by trini86
Summary: REPOST/Beta'd Another What if ending taking off from Chapter 50 in Allegiant. What if Tris didn't die? What if with guidance from above Tris is given a choice to continue living or to chose to pass on? Will Tris decide to stay with Four? Can their love pass another test? A must read! Hope everyone enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Divergent! It is own to Veronica Roth**

 **I am a HUGE DIVERGENT Fan! I often wondered WHAT IF?! Just like so many of you... there for after reading so many Fan Fictions I decided to write my first one. I hope you all enjoy it. Please leave comments below and let me know if I should continue.**

 **Description: What if Tris didn't die instantly? What if the powers to be offered Tris a choice, who would help her make that choice? Well Four/Tobias loose the love of his life?**

 **Featuring All Characters from the Divergent Series**

 **"To be Brave, you must live.**

 **To live, is being Brave!"**

Leaving from Chapter 50 in the book Allegiant

 **Chapter 1**

 **Tris P.O.V**

The gun goes off again.

More pain, black edges on my vision, but I hear Caleb's voice speaking again. The green button.

So much pain.

But how, when my body feels so numb?

I start to fall and slam my hand into the key pad on my way down. A light turns on behind the green button.

I hear a beep, and a churning sound.

I slide to the floor. I feel something warm on my neck, and under my cheek. Red. Blood is strange color. Dark.

From the corner of my eye, I see David slumped over his chair.

And my mother walking out from behind him.

She is dressed the same cloths she wore the last time I saw her. Abnegation gray, stained with her blood with bare arms to show her tattoo.

Something has changed since I last saw her.. the last moment that I had her in my arms. There were no holes in her dress, her hair was let down, and she wore a peaceful smile. She offered me her hand and before I could explain that I was shot, she lifted me from the floor.

I turned to look down confusion came over me as I could see my-self laying on the floor. My eyes are closed, I lay in a pool of blood growing by the second.

I should feel panicked, I should feel something, but I only can feel peace. I turn to my mother in hopes for an explanation.

"Oh Beatrice" still holding my hand she pulls me in for a hug. "Honey I am so sorry for all that you have gone through." Just then I see faint figures behind my mother. It took a moment to make them out. It was my father and Will both standing in what look like a blur of light. Smiling. Behind them looked like all of those that were lost, all that have been killed innocently. All look peaceful with no regrets.

"We have been waiting, we will continue to wait for all of you, for all of them." She took a second for me to understand what she is saying.

I wanted to respond, to ask questions that were forming in my head. But all that could come out of my mouth was "MOM?"

"Oh Beatrice, you have done so much... more than one person should have to endure in a lifetime. I have been given the chance to help you with your next choice."

Her words were coming so fast. Faster than I could understand what she was trying to tell me. Why am I still here?

"Mom I" she cut me off. "Beatrice, I'm sorry we don't have much time. You have been given a choice. A choice to move on, or to go back and continue." More questions continued to form in my mind. What did she mean go back? What did she mean by moving on?

Before the questions could come out of my mouth, I heard what sounded like dying animal and movements appeared at the corners of my eyes. I turned to see it was Caleb collapsing next to my body. "No No No! I need some help in here!" he yelled Mathew just behind doesn't hesitate to my side pulling off his shirt and placing pressure on my body in hopes to slow down the bleeding. "Cara go get help! It's really bad! Hold on Tris." Mathew stayed calm and continued to focus on breathing, allowing Caleb to be the one falling apart.

I turn my head to look at my mother, "We don't have a lot of time Beatrice."

We continued to watch as they tried to help me.

When Cara came back, she had five other people with her. They looked like a mixture of Doctors and nurses all still confused from the memory serum but all still trying to focus. Cara screamed out that they needed to help me I was a hero and important. As three of them place me on a stretcher, the other two started to address Cara and Caleb. A woman wiped off blood from Cara's head and place a Band-Aid on her cut. Another doctor or nurse gave some sort of injection to Caleb., maybe something to help calm him.

We continued to follow them down the hall to the emergency area. Then Mathew stopped Cara, grabbing her arm to hold her back. You need to go outside and wait there. "Wait for what, I should stay and help." She tried to refuse but that's when Mathew explained "Four and the others will be here soon."

Just like that a heavy feeling came over me. Tobias. Will he understand that I never meant to bring him such pain? Will he be able to move on?

Remembering the last time we saw each other, "I love you too," he said "I'll see you soon." He kissed me softly and gave me a small smile before turning away from me.

My mother took a hold of my hand, "Like I said a choice, lets continue. We have little time before the door is closed."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Cara P.O.V**

Shock is running through me. I follow the crowd of medics, trying to help Tris. I notice a trail behind them as they run with her on a stretcher. Blood. Could this be happening? No, she is strong she will get through this. Even though she shot my brother, I would never want the same fate for her.

Just then, they stopped running, allowing one of them to climb on top of her. Straddling over her limp body starting what look like CPR? Hands grabbed the girl holding her steady while the rest of them run, pushing the stretcher even faster.

Mathew grabbed my arm, holding me back from continuing to run with them. "You need to go out side." I paused, almost hurt. Why was I being held back from joining them?

"Four and the others will be back soon. Someone needs to tell them." He explains. I nod and do as he says.

Three things hit me at once, fear, shock, and anxiousness. My thoughts race, filled mostly with questions I cannot answer. How am I going to tell Four that Tris went in instead of Caleb? How am I going to tell him that she is in really bad shape. Will she still be breathing when I get back?

I found a spot to sit outside to wait for Four and the others to arrive. I tried to prepare for how to explain to them what has happened. I try to understand what is happening myself, as well as prepare myself for what might happen. I bow my head and clasp my hands together and wait. It didn't take long before I heard the sound of an engine approaching.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

The ride back to the Bureau is extremely slow. Amar is focused on the drive through snow, swerving to miss obstacles on the ground. The only thing that is giving me any comfort is the movement, despite our slow pace. Anxiety creeps through me like never before.I focus on the thought that I will soon see Tris and have her safe in my arms. The time away from her as been almost unbearable, even though it was necessary. She needed to mend things with her brother and help him and Mathew with their mission, while I had my own mission to complete. I glance to the back of the car and see Zeke with empty eyes. He is holding Hana's, hand. Hana's eyes are red and swollen from tears. She doesn't care to wipe them away. The guilt I still feel is so deep. Although I never meant for this to happen, the blame still lies with me. Only Tris can comfort this ache. Even then, I don't know that even she can make this pain ebb, since she almost got hurt too.

So many regrets...We were so close to losing each other just a few days ago. I still can't forgive myself for all this. Even though, miraculously, Tris already has.

Amar drives past the fences and stops by the front door. We all look around bewildered. "Where is everyone?" Amar questions. Then we see someone sitting down with her head down and her hands clasped together. Cara?

All of us get out of the car and make our way to her. The place feels creepier than when we left, almost like it has been abandoned entirely. The only one here is Cara. I'm in the lead now, feeling the anxiousness take hold on me. Before I can even say a word, Cara looks up at me, the expression on her face said something went wrong. Her entire demeanor radiates sadness and despair.

"What happened? Where's Tris?" I ask.

"Four I'm so sorry," was all she had to say.

My feet start moving of their own accord before my mind can catch up. I hear Christina staying behind, probably asking for more information. My mind wants to stay and ask for more information, my heart already breaking inside. Once I walk through the doors, I can see the trail of blood. My heart sinking to my stomach I follow it straight to the emergency. Stopping at the double doors, I take a breath to steady myself. Tris needs me to stay strong. Please let this be Caleb's blood, I selfishly pray.

I walk in, out of breath. I looked around and walked up to Caleb who is sitting in a chair with Mathew standing next to him. Mathew has his hand on Caleb's shoulder for comfort and support.

"Where's Tris? What happened?" Mathew lifted his head.

"It all happened so fast Four, she was so brave. She wouldn't let Caleb in at the last minute. There was gun fire... we were ambushed in the hall... Tris took Caleb's place. She went in." My heart stopped. Not Tris? It can't be. I refuse to believe it.

Although clearly my denial won't help anything. Even though Caleb scarified her so many times, and walked her to her execution... she could never do that to him. My Tris, too Dauntless and Abnegation for her own good.

"She got past the death serum. She made it. But David. He pauses, clearly choked up. -David was there waiting. He...He.. Mathew struggles to get the words out and I struggle not to get upset and do something I will regret to make him spit it out. He shot her. Many times. But she still didn't give up, she entered the code and everything before she collapsed." Mathew finally finishes. I

looked down at Caleb, who is staring out to nothing. With empty eyes, no tears, no emotions, just blankness. All I want to do is kill him, or at least do some damage, but after everything Tris has done for him I know I can't. More importantly, I need to go to her, I need to see her, now..

" Where is she?" Christina yells as she makes her way through the double doors behind me.

Mathew turns to Christina and tried to talk to both of us at the same time. "They took her in surgery. She was shot in multiple areas. Her heart stopped beating on the way here, but they did revive her. He finishes quickly seeing my panic. The Doctor came out about ten minutes ago, they already removed two bullets from her successfully and her heart seems to be more stable. They had to give her a blood transfusion. The Doctor said he would be out when there is more to update." He continues to glance back and forth between me and Christina, waiting for some kind of response but we are both speechless.

"Four, I told the doctor that once you get here- you will take over the decisions on behalf of Tris' as her next of kin. I hope you don't mind. Seeing the state that Caleb is in, it is kind of our only option right now." He tells me.

"Will she be ok?" Christina asked.

"It's hard to tell, that's what the doctor said." Matthew responds quietly.

I run my hands through my hair taking in the information, trying to dissipate the nervous energy. I begin to rub my temples, trying to release the pressure that is building in my head. Tris needs me to stay calm. She needs me to be strong! What is I lose her? How do I cope? How could I go from having it all to losing it all so fast?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Cara P.O.V.**

My heart broke to say the words. "Four, I'm so sorry" but that's all it took. Those four words for him to understand that something did in fact go wrong. He ran away that instant. You would think he would need to know where to find her. Then again, I realize that the blood trail will lead him to her just fine. I stand up to meet Christina. Feeling even more guilty, if possible. She was the one that told me about my brother's death. The pain is still so fresh from Will's death. Now it's like I am returning the favor and I have to tell her about her best friend. How poetic.

"What's going on?" Christina asked, confused about why Four ran off and left them behind.

"It's Tris," and just like that she disappeared too.

Apparently she also does not any more information than that to dash off. Guess I worried about how to explain what happened for nothing. I am certainly relieved not to have to be the one to give them details.

Tris may already be dead for all I know. There was so much blood... I need something to do.

I need to do something to make myself feel useful rather than just sit around here waiting. Amar and two other people, a man and woman walked up to me. This must be Uriah's mother and father maybe? He looks a little young. Glad Amar was able to go get them so that they could come here to say good-bye. Geeze can things get anymore gloom around here.

"Amar, I'm glad you made it back ok." I say, trying to break the awkwardness but I fear I may be making it worse.

"Thank you, good to be back. This is Zeke, Uriah's brother and their mother Hana." He says I'm greeting them Amar interrupts and asks.

"What's happening?" His tone is impatient.

"It's Tris, she was shot. Come on I'll take you to Uriah. Amar if you want me to take you to Tris after we get these two were they going, I can." He only nods solemnly in response.

I lead them a different route to the emergency section of the hospital, not wanting to see the trail of blood again, it is already imprinted in my brain.

 **Caleb P.O.V**

Tris is hurt. Blood. There was blood. So much blood. My sister. I'm older. I'm supposed to go first. I was supposed to protect her. I AM suppose to protect her. I refuse to believe she's already gone yet. I picture her in my head, my much smaller adorable sister. Instead, lonely managed to out her in danger time and time again I remember all of the times I chastised her for not acting selfless enough back home. Why did she have to choose now to be selfless? Home, our parents. They're gone too. If something happened to her it's all my fault. All this time I've blamed her for our parent's deaths but if I had stepped up instead of dad maybe he would still be here. Maybe he would have protected her like I should have. I am her big brother. My job is to protect her and take care of her. I failed her when she asked for my help in Erudite during initiation, I failed her when I betrayed her to Jeannine. I am supposed to protect her. I promised to do better when she saved my life in the trails. I maybe be the reason she dies. She did this for me. I should have been in her place. It's all my fault! All I see is darkness, all I want to see is darkness. My only hope is that Four does kill me. I deserve nothing more than death. It's too much, I was supposed to set things right this time. Go in and set off the memory serum that was the plan. What happened? Why? Why? I'm alone. There is no one else. Someone is talking, are they talking about Tris? I can't understand them. I can't talk. I can't anything. All there is, is nothing. Its all my fault. My fault. The world goes fuzzy and I can't really see or hear anything. I cannot move, but I do not want to. I stay as I am and wait for the world to swallow me like I deserve.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

The waiting room is plain. It has white walls, blue seats, and a few coffee tables. I can't sit down, I can't just stand there. So I pace first in a circle and then just back and forth in straight lines. I am trying hard to keep calm... I know it's better if I do. I can't break like Caleb. I scoff internally and look at Caleb, who is still in the same seat, still has that empty stare in his eyes. Emotionless, boy would I love to smack that look off of his face. Unfortunately I can't, out of respect for Tris. That's all he gets. Part of me would love to check out let other make the life or death decisions for Tris but the rest of me wouldn't trust anyone else to do right by her. That's me, I always have to be the strong one. I think angrily, but I will do it for her.

It's been hours now... I assume Zeke and Hana went to sit with Uriah. I don't care about them right now. I feel a bit guilty but not enough since my focus is on Tris. I over hear that there is still no change with Uriah. I barely notice Zeke coming out every so often to check if there was an update from the Doctor. I barely register that he is more concerned for me than I am for him. I will deal with the guilt later.

The Doctor came out two hours ago. He informed us that there were more bullets and they were able to get them out. I am thankful when he tells us that they didn't cause any permanent damage. He tells me her heart went into arrest while they had her on the table, but luckily they got her back, and she has been stable ever since. That's three times her heart has given up. The thought of her heart never beating again causes my own to clench. Never feeling it under my touch again.. I can't even this of it. It's too much to bear. I have to stop thinking about that. I feel if I allow my self to break, I'll never come out of it.

I look up for some kind of distraction, I'm going stir crazy. I see that apparently, Cara is feelings the same. She has been checking on all of us nonstop. She is trying to be helpful, getting water, coffee, something to eat to those that would eat. I know she us trying to deal with the stress in her own way but her incessant interruptions are grating and I only swat her away. I can't right now, I can't eat, I can't even think. God I feel useless.

Christina has been walking around, between the waiting room and Uriah's room. All of us are waiting, waiting for something to happen, waiting for news that could change the rest of all our lives. I almost chuckle at the thought that one small little Abnegation girl can effect so many lives. She never would have believed this. She never WILL believe this. I mentally kick myself for thinking he in the past tense. She is going to be fine. She is strong. She is a warrior. She is going to get through this.

I remember the last time I said Goodbye to Tris. I draw the image of her in my mind. I think of her smile, her warm gentle gray eyes, her lips touching mine, the way she looked when she said "I love you too." Tears threatened to leave my eyes, what if the last time was really the final time? I can't bear it. Cant even think about this? If I do I'll break.

Then I hear the door open and spun around to see the doctor walking towards us, he comes directly to me and begins speaking.

"Ok Four, we were able to remove another few bullets. One did cause some damage to some of her major nerves, we tried to repair it but there is no way to know for 100% certain until she wakes up. There are another three bullets to be removed. Now the next ones are the harder ones. They are closer to arteries, and one is near her lung and one bullet has fragmented. It's pieces are near the heart and a kidney. We are working on removing the fragments and the bullets. Her heart hasn't arrested again which is a good sign. Considering everything her body has gone through she is doing better than expected, so far. She is strong. Let us remain hopeful. I won't come back out here until all is done from here on out. Please don't get discouraged there is a lot of work left to do. So if I'm taking a really long time please don't get anxious. It means she is still alive. Ok?"

"Thank you" is all I can say, and just like that, he is gone, leaving he door swinging in his awake.

There is nothing else to do but wait.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

The waiting room has died down a lot by now. The clock on the wall shows its 3:00am. I've taken up a spot on the floor, my back is against the wall. I have full view of the room. Christina refuses to leave. Apparently exhausted from the events of the day, she has managed to pass out in an awkward looking position, sitting in one chair with her legs up in another chair that is facing her. Caleb is still unresponsive. Nurse has been checking on him hourly, they tried to place him in a private room but all that did was cause an outburst of a violent tantrum. Of course, I was more than happy to help shut him down. If it wasn't for Zeke taking hold of my arm I would have. Mathew is trying to help those affected by the memory serum remember facts about their lives. Cara took Hana to a room to get some sleep.

It has been so long since I got a update from the doctor. It is hard to keep the panic at bay. I just keep telling myself she is still alive, that's the glue that holds my sanity together right now.

My own exhaustion is trying to take over, but I can't allow it to take me. The fear of closing my eyes and opening them to a new world without Tris, terrifies me. So, for now, I just sit and wait. Sit and watch.

The nurse at the desk is keeping herself busy with something on the screen. The orderly behind her is trying to pour yet another cup of coffee.

Finally, I hear familiar voices, down the hall. I stand up, in anticipation of who it is. The doors that say Authorized Personal Only opens, and it's the doctor. I try to read his mind through the expression on his face, but his face is emotionless. I pray that is exhaustion I see on his face and not resignation.

I take a deep breath. Please, Please, Please, tell me she is alive. The Doctor motions me to take a seat. He looks almost twenty years older since I first met him. The stress of the day clearly took it's toll on him.

"Four, we were able to correctly remove all bullets and fragments from Tris. I wish I could tell you she would be fine, but I don't know that for certain. good as new. She had a lot of injuries. He had a clipboard, on it was a diagram of a female body with organs and lines detailing arteries and veins. He began to show me all the areas where the bullets impacted.

"First she was shot twice in the left thigh. No permanent damage occurred. One bullet was found in her right shoulder, I understand that she had been shot there already. It takes a moment for my brain to catch up and realize I haven't answered him. Correct?" I nodded, I remember the shot that she endured while we were trying to escape Eric in Abnegation.

"Well no permanent damage there. She was then shot in her left forearm, again no permanent damage there." Four bullets so far, and there's more?

"She had one located more near her spine. We did remove it and corrected the damage best we could, but like I said before we can't be 100% certain if there is nerve damage or to what extent until she wakes up. The bullet that was located near her left lung caused her lung to collapse. We were able to perform a repair on the lung. It will take time to heal. Therefore she is on a ventilator to help her breathe. The other bullet that took the most time to remove is the one that broke apart. We located all of the fragments and corrected the bleeding that they caused." Tris! My head falls in my hands looking for any support.

"Four, the next 24 hours are extremely critical. We have done all we can for now, the rest is up to Tris. We are going continue monitoring her heart and, breathing as well as looking out for any infections." He place a hand on my upper back, I understand that he is trying to give me strength. He doesn't know that the only one that can provide me strength is Tris.

"I know this is a lot to endure, very overwhelming. We just need to have faith in hope and Tris from here. She is being transported to her room with in the next hour. Her room is number 19, please keep it to one person at a time. She is unconscious, and need to do further neurological examination when and if she wakes up." If, he said if she wakes up?!

"Are you telling me-" I couldn't finish the thought.

"With the stress her heart as been through today, we do not know what consequences there could have been to her brain. I'm sorry. Have the nurse page me if you need anything or have any other questions." He stood up slowly making his way back through the doors.

I try to process everything I have just been told. She may not wake up? Nerve damage? It is all too much to take in.I need to get away, I need to escape the suffocation... just as I get up my eyes lock on Christina. Has she been awake this whole time?

I can't stop myself even if I want to. I ran out the double doors and out of the building. I stopped just feet away from the main doors. I lost all feeling in my feet, feeling my legs crumbling underneath me. Tears coming down my cheeks, didn't even notice they were there until I noticed the water droplets on the floor. I hear footsteps are heard from behind me, I don't have to look. I know it's her. She kneels down next to me placing her hand on my back. Not speaking at first, just there...

"She may not wake up. Is this my punishment? I killed Uriah, is this my consequence? She loses her life. I shouldn't have left her. Christina I should have been here." Just like that, I allowed myself to break.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Christina P.O.V**

Dude, I have never seen Four lose it like that. He has always come off like... like Four. Intimidating, pain in the ass, tough as nails, Four. Truthfully, I was beyond surprised when I realized Tris had been seeing him. She didn't even tell me. I found out by watching them kissing the night we found out we made it into Dauntless. I know he loves her, you can see it when he looks at her. Like there is nothing else in the world but her.

I heard what the Doctor said. She may, not wake up. They don't know. Do they know anything? They couldn't even get Uriah to wake up so far.

I know they are wrong, all of them, even Four. He has always underestimated her. She is strong enough to endure and survive. Hell, it's Tris! I tried to calm Four down, but all I could do was hug him as tight as my little frame allow me to. When he finally calmed down, I was the one barking the orders. I sent him to Tris' room, hoping that maybe by seeing that she is still breathing, it can give him some kind of strength. I'll tell the others what the doctor said.

The others... Caleb is her brother, she is basically knocking on death's door and what is he doing? He is just sitting there!

It's been only a few months since I lost Will, now I am about to lose Uriah and possibly Tris. There has been so much death.

 **Tris P.O.V**

I decide to follow Mathew and the others with my body down the hall. I see blood trails all along the way. I'm amazed at the amount of blood.

I'm so small, never thought I had that much reach the emergency room, Mathew is helping to guide Caleb to a chair. He isn't moving, isn't speaking, just continues to stare out.

"My Poor boy, so much guilt to carry." My mom is watching Caleb.

She is still holding my hand. They are running past double doors that read "Authorized Personal Only. We walk right through those same doors which have swung shut. We reach a plain room with monitors and equipment ready for operations. The doctor is male, brown hair, which is all I can really notice about him since he has a mask on. "What do we have here?" he asked with his hand held up, the nurse is helping him with gloves.

"Sixteen year old, multiple gunshots wounds." Another one of the nurses tells him.

"Alright let's get this bleeding under control. Then we can locate and scan for all bullets, we will have to watch closely for bleeders once we get in there! And call the blood bank!" He shouts out orders and one by one they all fall in line, working as fast as they can.

Mom and I walk back to the waiting room. Mathew has stepped aside for the nurse to access Caleb. "He's in shock."

Just then, a doctor comes out and steps up to Mathew. "Are you with the female that was shot multiple times?" He asks.

"Yes, her name is Tris Prior." He had a pen and paper and is writing that down.

"Are you a relative of the patient?" He asks.

"No, a friend. This is her brother Caleb." he points down acknowledging my brother.

He continues to explain he is in shock and hasn't spoken since the incident. "I see,"she says with a frown.

"There may be some medical decisions to be made on her behalf. Who can speak for her? Is there another family member?" She continues to ask.

"No just her brother, her boyfr- Fiancé, he corrects quickly.

Fiancé? What? We aren't engaged.

My mother, seeing my confusion says "A boyfriend isn't good enough, Fiancé might be but really it should be blood or your husband," she explains calmly.

"Four, will be here soon. He is capable of making those decisions. He is certainly who she would want speaking for her." He once again notes the information and thanks Matthew.

He explains some of my injuries and lets him know someone will be out with updates when they can and walks away. Not long after, I hear the double doors open and close with a loud bang. The expression on Tobias' face is heartbreaking, worry, longing, anger, he is wearing so many feelings on his face, something that he so rarely does.

"What happened? Where's Tris?" Four asks.

"I'm so sorry Four, I didn't mean to leave you." I know he can't hear me. I want to comfort him, hold him, to kiss him one more time.

"I love you, Tobias." I say sadly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

I have never been more grateful for Christina's Candor background right now. I don't feel like I have the nerve to deal with repeating what the doctor said about Tris to the others.

I make my way slowly down the hall. On one side are doors leading to the patient rooms, the hall curves around with the nurses' desk right in the middle. The desk has a perfect view to supervise all the patients at the same time. There are six orderlies at the desk. One is glancing at several monitors, another seems to be gathering materials, the others all have clipboards. They all look at me, walking silently, slowly towards room 19. They don't say a word, but the expression on their faces tell me they know who I am, and what is happening.

I pass Uriah's room, and take a quick glance. I see Zeke has fallen asleep in one of the chairs and his mother Hana is in the chair closer to Uriah holding his hand.

I finally reach the door with the sign that says patient room 19. The door isn't closed all the way and there is a big window looking into the room. I don't have to go in to see what is going on. At first glance I can barely notice it's her. She is lying on her back, with a big circular plastic tube coming out of her month, wires, Iv, monitors all attached to her in different places. I gasp at the sight. Urging myself to move, I open the door little more to pass through. Already there is a chair on the left side of the bed. I inch it little closer to her and sit down, taking her hand which rests at her side. I try not to disturb any of the wires or monitors that are presumably keeping her alive.

My thoughts started to race even more than before. My God, Tris, what did David do to you? That son of a bitch won't even pay for what he;s done. They won't let me. They say that because of the memory serum, its makes him innocent. I can't harm an innocent person. I would love to... I can't think like this. Tris would be disappointed in me. "I love you so much Tris. Stay with me" is all I can say. I say it out loud hoping she can hear me but knowing she probably can't. I watch the monitors. I hear the monitors beeping to the rhythm of her heartbeat. I am thankful for the sound, for right now it means she is still here and still has a chance to come back to me. I sit back and let the sound take me over.

 **Tris P.O.V**

I know it's selfish, questioning what to do. I am exhausted in every possible way mentally, physically, and emotionally. The war, the deaths, it has all been never-ending torture. Why should I continue when I can be at peace? I can have my mom and dad back along with Will. Isn't that what I wanted for so long? I remember surrendering to Erudite, knowing the possibility of that happening. I also remember not wanting to die at the end and how grateful I was for Peter, of all people, who helped rescue me. That was when I realized that what I wanted most and needed was to be with Tobias, to have a life with him. That night we went to his home that his mother claimed over Marcus back in Abnegation, he offered to be my family. I also remember that I finally confessed my love for him.

We never talked details about our plans though, never allowed ourselves to fully imagine a future. Dreaming of a future would have been too much to handle at the time, never knowing if one or both of us would survive. I watch him now, my mother still with me. I know she wants me to see the bigger picture of all I would give up. I wish she would give me more guidance as to what I should choose. I won't have another chance to take back my choice. I stand in the door way, there I lie. I see myself so still, lifeless. Tobias breaking into pieces. I'm beyond torn at this, wanting to different things not knowing which to pick.

Then I hear him speak. "I love you so much Tris. Stay with me" he pleads. It's as if he knows I'm right here fighting this internal battle with myself. He is fighting for us, and he's alone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

I watch her, lying there, and although she looks like she is sleeping I feel her right next to me. It is a weird sensation. I take a deep breath, having the urge go through me. To feeling to express things that we never allowed before, to dream about our life that should be. The life that could have been ours.

You know you are going to make it, its going to take some time. Recovery will be tough the doctor says. I sigh. But I will be here, you're my family. I kiss her hand.

"I have always thought that once the war was over we would take off. Find a place in the city, maybe the Hancock building." I allow myself a small sardonic laugh. I think I'm starting to lose it.

"We will argue over which floor and apartment we live in. I'm sure you will want one higher up and I will want one lower down, but you will get your way. How can I deny you, you with your pouty face." Another chuckle escapes me.

"Christina will probably move in to the same building. Knowing her she would want to be in charge of decorating both homes. A home, I sigh. Our home where you and I can experience so many firsts together. Like our first real Christmas. We can have a Christmas tree, and make our own decorations. Spend hours decorating the tree and afterward we could lie down on a the blanket next to the fire place. Christmas morning would come and we would be so excited that we get up early and run to the tree. Where I surprise you with a small box. You open it and find a ring. I tell you I love you, and that after all we been through. I can't stand not to make you mine and me yours forever! You say yes, and we make love for the first time." I sigh and look at the monitor still beeping no change.

"We work alongside my mother and Joanna, getting things in order for the city. After you and Evelyn get over your differences, of course." Another chuckle escapes me.

"You and Christina plan our wedding. We will have it in Millennium Park, after we restore it to the former glory, that it once was. Your brother walks you down the aisle. I'm breathless seeing you come down, and you're so beautiful. Sundays we will spend together, only us. Whether it's being at home in bed all day, or taking walks, but just us. On our one-year anniversary, I surprise you with a double harness and we both go ziplining together, conquering my fear once and for all with your help." I take another deep breath.

"God, Tris, I hope you share my dream for our future. We never did talk about it. I know we didn't have the time and how painful it would have been but there are so many things I wish I would have told you or discussed with you. I wonder how you see us some day." I pause and consider a moment.

"Tris, I can see our future so clearly when I think of it. We have a son and two daughters, our son we name Andrew after your dad. Our daughters are twins. The girls are Natalie after your mom and Abigail. They always gang up on their brother. Andrew is the protector, always watching out for them but they're your girls so they're tough too. The kids are just like you, kind, loving, and patient, always thinking about others. We spend all of our time together. Laughter will fill our house. Even after the kids leave grow up and make their own way. We become parents that are open and loving to our children. We have such a warm and happy family. We have grandchildren that we love and they are always with us. Sundays will become the day where our kids, kids' partners and their kids come over. We have dinner and talk about everything with them. Never hiding secrets, or worrying about being too informal or selfish." I take a deep breath in and hold it before letting it go all out. Imagining that life.

"Yesterday we were so close to starting this, making this dream a reality. That's why you've got to live, for me, for us. You die, I die Tris." I kissed her hand, holding it to my lips longer than it should.

"Please, Please." Is all I have left in me to say.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **Zeke P.O.V**

So much crap is happening all at once. First, I get the news from Four about Uriah and now Tris' life is on the line. Shit this crap never ends. I'm on the couch in my brother's room. He is covered in all the gadgets keeping his body alive. Doc told us that he has very little brain activity, and the longer he is under the less likely it is he will wake up. Mom is passed out in a chair pulled right up next to his bed with her hand stretched out holding his hand. Shit.

I remember the first time I saw my annoying brother. I was told not to make a sound in the hospital, they snuck me in. Mom didn't want me to think she forgot about me. Then I walked in the hospital room and see her holding this little baby wrapped up in a blanket, they tell me I asked them to put him back.

"Uriah dude they got Dauntless cake!" No change, I had to try.

"Oh my god is that nurse walking around butt-naked?!" Still no change, "DAMN!"

"Stop that Zeke, that's not appropriate," my mother says scolding me. It loses some of the effect when I notice she is fighting to keep a straight face.

"Had to try something mom, cant just sit here, not doing anything." I explain.

"I wonder how Four is doing? Is Tris out of surgery yet?" She asks.

"Not sure they haven't come by to tell me anything." I answered her.

The doors open and a man in a white coat comes in. I recognize him, he was speaking with Four earlier about Tris. "Hi, I'm Dr. Protel. I understand you are Uriah's family?"

"Yes, I'm his mother and this is my oldest son Zeke." She points at me introducing us. We hold out our hands and firmly shake his hand.

"Well I have been looking over your son's case. Now I understand that Uriah is under the care of Dr. Ramos and he is a great doctor, one of our best general surgeons. I am a neuro surgeon and I'm currently working on the study on patients with low to none brain function and work to reverse it. I have brought over my case research and current findings in case you would like to look them over."

I cut him off not understanding quite what he means- "Doc are you saying that you might be able to help him."

"I am saying that Uriah and many people suffer from brain injuries leading to the loss of brain function. The brain is a very sensitive and yet magical organ. The brain is very delicate and new options for this kind of damage are still being explored. I don't make promises but I'm willing to try if you will allow me. We will administer some experimental drugs and have a few experimental procedures to try. Would you consider donating him to science?" He glances at both me and my mother.

Shock comes over both mom's face and my own. He said donate? How do you donate a person to science?

"I know it's a lot to think consider, and I would like to leave you my research and materials of this trial. Along with the required paper word, which will need your signatures, if you decide to proceed. Please read them over and take your time." Handed me two vanilla folders.

"Doc if you did that, and he... I stumble over my words, what will happen?" I had to ask.

"I wish I could promise a miracle I really do. From what I gather he is a loving and heroic young man. Unfortunately we are talking about the brain. The brain can be unpredictable. The best-case scenario, we get him through this and he is full function and can live a long and happy life. That is the goal. The worst is that we can lose him. He can also have middle ground as well. He may survive and get some brain function, but because we are reviving a brain, he may have defects of several kinds, from verbal, physical, to needing to learn everything all over again like a newborn. It's hard to predict an outcome when the brain is involved. That's why its best to talk about it, think it through." I look at my mother, she mirrors the same emotions I am feeling back to me, shock, hope, fear, concern.

"They are scheduling Uriah to be taken off the machines on Thursday, today is Monday you have until then. Please have the nurse page me if you have any questions of course." He turns and walks out what felt like forever, my mom and I just sat there staring at each other and every so often glancing at Uriah.

"Well shit" Is all I can say.

"Would you watch your mouth before I wash it out for you. You may be 18 but I am still your mother, and I will take you over my knee." Yup, I shouldn't push her anymore.

 **Christina P.O.V**

The door creaks while I walk into the room, Four is finally sleeping. He finally sleeps. Like really sleeps. Wow I don't know why but I always pictured Four sleeping upside down hanging like a bat or something.

"Oh Tris" I walk over to Four and place my hand on his shoulder. He automatically jumps up and looks like his eyes are going to jump out of his head from the motion. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you." Trying to ease his wornness.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"I thought I would come and offer you a break. You haven't left her side for three days now. Go clear your head, get some food. At the very least get a shower. I say making what I hope is a humorous face.

"No I can't leave her. Not until she wakes up." Is his stubborn response, exactly as I expected.

It's been five days since she was shot. They took her off the ventilator today. She seems to have more color, but no other changes. Doctors were mentioning her brain activity was slowing.

"Dude, I'll swear, I'll send for you if there is the slightest change, but you have to take care of yourself, for her. Think of what she will do to me when she wakes up and you are passed out from starvation. Now go away." I start tugging his arm and he finally gives in. He stands up slowly, finally. The scary looking Four to which I have grown accustomed, turned into what looks like a muscular 80 year old overnight. I can't help myself. I blame my Candor upbringing but I know it's really just me taking advantage of a rare opening."Dude do you need a cane? Looking kind of wobbly there."

"Shut up candor." He says with less feeling than usual but with a small grin.

"I'll be back, I wont be long." I don't really understand the look of warning he gives me but I am used to it from him by now. He walks around the bed to the other side... making a mental note of her vitals and then kisses her gently on the forehead and tells her he will be right back. Then he turns and walks out in swiftly.

I can't help it I shake my head, "God, Tris, your ass better wake up. Looking after your boy is a lot of work. You so owe me big, girl. Oh I almost forgot." I pull out a small bottle and show her. "-haha you can't tell me no! It's pink!" In the back of my head I can hear her annoyed groan. Laughter bursts through me like she can hear me. I start working on her toes...

I talk to her about Uriah and his family, Cara, and update her on Caleb. "I'm really worried about him, they admitted him to the mental ward. He stopped all function, he doesn't talk, sleep, eat, nothing, just stares out.

It doesn't take me long to get through her toes and I'm almost finished with her finger nails when Four walks back in.

"That was fast." I say, expecting him to say something smart about stating the obvious like a Candor. I wish he would so that things could feel bit more normal.

"Yea just cleaned up little and walked around. Thank you, Christina." I don't like this version of Four, him thanking me is too much.

He looks down to what I'm doing. "Pink, really? She is going to kill you!" That's better! I feel relieved to hear him engage a little. He walks past me and kisses her again on the forehead "I'm back Tris, as I promised."

"Yea and he smells better too." I tell her.

Alright I couldn't help myself there. "Shut up!" Is his only reply. Still not quite the Four he was.

 **Tris P.O.V**

I've been watching them all for days. Cara and Mathew seem to be keeping themselves busy. Caleb looks like death just lying there on a bed. Mom is worried about him. "He wont get pasts this one, not without a mark." She says. Christina seems to be putting on a good front, she is looking after Tobias and Uriah's family as a way to distract herself, I guess. Tobias, oh my poor Tobias... When no one is around he cries his heart out. I heard him daydream the first day they brought me from the operating room. Something we never did. We never dared to mention such things. In war, the best you can do is live for the moment and not for the future. The future is too unknown and can change to fast and most time it's for the worst.

I wish I can touch his arm, feel my lips on his and tell him I'm not worth this much pain. Knowing him, he would argue that statement.

"Beatrice, you are running out of time, your vitals are going down little by little. You have to make your choice before its too late." Mom is holding my hand, she hasn't let go this whole time.

I am so grateful for her support and comfort. "Mom I'm scared what if I make the wrong choice?"

Looking into her eyes, I feel torn by wanting to be with her, and my father, to be able to speak to Will and experience his friendship, or at least apologize for killing him. The hurt of not being with them fills me with so much doubt.

"Honey there is no right or wrong here. There also are no other second chances. To be brave you must live, to live is to be brave. Beatrice Prior can you honestly tell me you are done with this life? She says gesturing to Tobias. Can you honestly tell me you can look at Tobias Eaton and not want to continue to be with him? Can you leave your brother in pain, and your friends behind? Those are questions you need to ask yourself?"

Just then I heard him say those familiar words; "I love you Tris. You die, I die. You choose for us."

"Tobias?" I didn't have to ask the question, I knew it when I looked in his eyes what he meant.

It wasn't long ago I faced this choice. He was under the simulation and wouldn't stop attacking me. I had a choice: shoot him, or shoot me. It was a no-brainier, I would rather die than to live in a world without him. With that thought my choice apparently was made.

"I love you mommy." I feel the pull, the choice has been made. My mother lovingly embraces.

"Oh my sweet girl, I love you no matter what. I'm so proud of the girl you have become and will continue to grow into. Be strong and brave my love. Life isn't easy as you already know, but hold on for all the good moments. Give love a chance to make you stronger, and focus on that love to help heal Tobias as well. Love and cherish, be honest and trusting in each other. Together you are unstoppable. When you have children be honest and open with them. Give them plenty of hugs and kisses. Know that your father and I will always be here watching you and we love you. We will see you soon enough." As she speaks she starts to fade... trying to hold on to her but the pull is too strong.

Annoying beeps surround me instead but I hear someone confessing his love for me. All I see is darkness. What is that? There's a pressure in my hand. It feels different than my mother's hand which has been in mine these past days. Something heavy surrounds my hand causing a warm pressure. My eyes start to flop open and closed. I concentrate on the movement: open and close, open and close. I can't make anything out everything is so blurry. I'm having trouble keeping them open for longer than a second.

I hear something or is it, someone? "Tris?"

Did they just say Tris?


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

I been sitting here for what it feels like forever, but I will not waiver. I will sit here. I will hold her hand. It's what keeps me grounded, without the feel of her skin touching mine I don't think I would be able to breath. "You die, I die." What was that? Did her hand just twitch? I lift my head, look directly to her face searching for a sign. Did I just imagine that? There it is again, it's small.. just a finger. "Tris?" I look back up, her eyes are closed but there is movement with in them. "Tris?" Slight relief goes through me... her eyes are fluttering open and closed, open and closed, open and closed. "Tris, I'm here. Come back to me." Open and closed, open and closed. I push the red button on the wall and almost immediately a woman answers "Yes."

"Can you send the doctor I think she's waking up." I speak these words quickly.

"The doctor will be right in" she staring at her, she opens her eyes.

Confusion is all over her face while she takes in her surroundings. "Tris" is all I can say. She turns her eyes to me, and I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.

"Tris, Oh thank god, Tris." Still holding her hand with my left hand, I reach to caress her check with my right hand when she flinches away. Pain stabs me in the chest. Is she upset with me for leaving her? I left her to deal with so much on her own. I am the reason why she is in this bed. Does she blame me as much as I blame myself?

"Tris, I'm so sorry" but before I could continue she cuts me off-

"Tris? I'm sorry I do not know you. My name is Beatrice, Beatrice Prior. Where am I? Who are you?" She asks, seeming confused.

The feeling on the pit of my stomach tightens further. Just than the door opens, and Doctor Protel strolls in. "Well, look who's awake? You gave us a scare there, how you feeling?" As he walks over, he glances quickly at me. What my face might look like at this moment, must alert him because he immediately glances back at her and pulls out a small hand held flash light and uses it to look into her eyes.

"Where am I? What happened to me? Is my mom here?" She is so bewildered.

I tighten her hand out of habit to try to comfort her. That was a big mistake. She takes note of our hands entwined and quickly pulls her hand out from under me. She skootches a little to her right, as if she fears me. Afraid of me?

"Who are you? Why am I here? Who are you people?" She shifts her gaze back and forth between me and Doctor Protel, frustration sending her into overload. "SOMEONE...ANSWER...ME!

"Glancing at the doctor, he takes a deep breath and begins. "Tris, can you tell me what you last remember?"

"Why do you people keep calling me that? My name is Beatrice Prior. My parents are Andrew and Natalie Prior, we are members of to Abnegation. My brother is Caleb Prior, I am fifteen years old." Fifteen? Did she just say fifteen?

"Sixteen. You're sixteen years old, and you are not abnegation anymore, you chose Dauntless." I had to correct her.

"I think I know my own age thank you. I'm fifteen and what do you mean I chose Dauntless? Who are you?" She glares at me... with that 'how dare you' stare that she has. Is this really happening?

"Alright, alright, lets just calm down." Doctor Protel began sensing the tension in the air. He looks down at Tris trying to redirect her focus from me back to him. "Beatrice, you are in the hospital located with in The Bureau. You were shot multiple times. I understand you are a hero Tr- Beatrice. I want you to know we are going to take great care of you. Not to worry. That said, we are going to do a thorough examination; I would also like to order a MRI. Please try to keep calm, your body has experienced high amounts of trauma and need to start to recover. I understand there is a lot of confusion." He glances at me and then back to her.

"But let's not worry too much until we figure it all out." He trying to ensure her.

"Four, may I speak with you for a moment outside please." He starts to turn towards the door, but I'm hesitant to move from her side. Can I leave her again?

"Four, please just for a moment." I gently nod my head and leave the room right behind him.

"Four, I need to stress to you to try and stay calm. I know this isn't an easy situation"- I cut him off.

"Easy situation? That's an under statement Doc. She doesn't even know who I am!" I glance back in the room through the window, watching the woman I love more then life its self. She looks bewildered, lost and helpless, glancing first around the room and than towards her body. I turn back to Doc. trying to understand his words.

"I can't imagine how this is all feeling to you right now. Four, you are exhausted. You have been at her side for days on end now. My suggestion to you is to let us examine her, run some tests. We need to know the cause of the memory loss and how to treat it. Why don't you take a break go get some rest. Give me a few hours to get some answers. You need to keep your strength up for her. Also the last thing she needs is any unnecessary stress." He says sternly but gently.

What would I kill for to have David in front of me right now... I place my hands on my hips and breathe heavily through my mouth.

"Alright Doc. I need answers, I won't be far. I'll be back in a few hours to check on her." I turn to the door debating on rather or not to tell her I'm leaving. Would she even notice, or care? I reach for the doorknob and turn it with in my hand. The door opens and I take one step into the room just enough for her to see me but not enough for her to feel more uncomfortable. She glances at me. Calmer but still confused.

"Who are you?" she asked.

How do I answer that? How do you tell someone that they used to love you? "My name is Four."

"Well Four can you do me a favor, if it isn't to much to ask of course?" Strange, I never thought I would hear so much of Abnegation come from Tris' beautiful mouth. I have never seen her act so delicate. It pains me to see her like this knowing it isn't her real self, the strong warrior I fell in love with.

"Of course, anything." I respond gently.

"Can you call my family please?" She asks demurely again.

A deeper guilty feeling hits the bottom of my stomach. Her family? How do I tell her, her parents died saving her life when the war started. Back in Jeanine's simulation that made Dauntless members into murderers and attacked innocent members of Abnegation. How do I tell her about Caleb? Caleb, who is still probably still lying like a vegetable? Does he even deserve to know that she alive?

Just like that I made my choice, "I'll go get your brother."

Before I could turn to walk out the door I hear her gasp. Fear that she might have hurt herself more I turned to face her once again. There in the hospital bed she looking down at her collarbone to find the three ravens tattoo to her. "What in the world? I have a tattoo?" She wipes on them, like if she can wipe off the ravens from her body.

"They are a representation, one raven for each member of your family. You got it as an initiate in Dauntless." Our eyes meet, a spark of electricity runs down my body. My heart aches, all I want is to have her in my arms, to feel her touch on my skin, to feel her heart beat, to feel her alive again. "How do you know that?" She asked.

"Because you told me."

"What am I to you, Four?" Such a honest question, with such a hard answer.

"The love of my life." Is all I can say.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

"The love of my life." Is all I can say... when she ask me what we were to each other. She is laying down, reclined slightly on the bed. Most her body is covered in plaster and in slings, making her look like a puppet on strings.

She winced ever so slightly. I notice her heart rate pick up. I step closer to her. I keep my hands in my pockets, not wanting to frighten her more than she must already be.

"Are you alright?" I ask her

"I'm ok, just hurts everywhere." She says with a painful smirk.

"I'll get the nurse to get you something for the pain." I push the button near the wall. Explaining to the lady on the other side of the receiver that Tris needs something for the pain.

In record timing a nurse comes in with a syringe and administers morphine into the I.V drippier. "This should make you feel better. It will make you drowsy again. Just try and relax. Your body will heal faster that way."

Tris leans her head back and almost instantly starts to relax. I thanked the nurse and she walked out of the room.

"I'll leave you to get your rest. I will be back in a few hours. Um I'll tell everyone you are awake, and try and find Caleb for you. Do you need anything before I go?" Still watching her, I see she turns her head to meet my eyes.

"No, but Thank you!" She says with a grin.

"Of course, anything for you."

As I walked out of Tris' room closing the door behind me. I take a much needed breath in, I tried to remind myself that she is alive. That is what counts. No matter what shape she is in. She will always be my Tris even if it's in my memory. I wonder why on earth why she would think she is fifteen and back in Abnegation. She always said she never felt like she belonged there. I'm hopeful the Doctor will figure that out. He has to.

I lean against the wall, thinking about my next move. I should inform Christina, she would want to know. Plus, she can spread word to the others about Tris' condition.

I should also try and get an hour or so of sleep. I haven't really gotten any sleep in days and the shock of Tris' condition and exhaustion is starting to take its toll on me.

I also have to figure out how to get Caleb down here. Maybe by telling him she is alive, it will help him snap out of it. The thought of bringing him here, angers me. He is the reason why she is here to begin with. He is the reason why I almost lost her to Jeanine back in Erudite as well. She thought she was being selfless, giving herself over to Jeanine to save others from killing themselves under yet another simulation all the while her brother was helping Jeanine...

Having come to resolution on what to do, I peel myself from the wall and walk down the hall through the double doors and enter the waiting room. Christina is sitting talking to Zeke, both having a cup of coffee and having a conversation to pass the time.

"Hey," I step in front of both of them. She must see it in my eyes, Christina waste no time jumping up from her chair yelling "She's awake?"

"She's awake," I sigh.

Zeke stands and joins Christina and me with a smile. "Thank god!" Placing his hand on my shoulder and shaking it slightly.

"Wait, if she is awake? Why aren't you thrilled?" She asks, confused by my expression.

"Sh... she doesn't remember me. She doesn't remember us. She thinks she is back in Abnegation and she thinks she's fifteen." Shock reaches their faces.

"Doc is going to run tests. See what he can find. I have a few hours, they are sedating her because of the pain. I'm going to get some rest." Going over what just happened, reminds me of another obligation I needed to complete. "Christina where are they keeping Caleb?"

"In the Psych. Ward why?" She asks.

"Tris wants her family. I haven't told her about her parents. I thought her brother is probably the next best thing." What else can I say.

Wow for once the Candor in her has no response. She is speechless.

I go back to my old bunk. It feels weird being back here, without Tris. I look at her bunk just to my left, so close I can reach out and touch it. She is alive. I keep reminding myself, like that would make it all better. I close my eyes and try to rest for a couple of hours. As long as she is alive there is a chance to fix her memory. I cling to that thought and resolve to at at least try to make her fall in love with me again even if sh doesn't remember.

I wake up from what was a pretty deep sleep but still doesn't feel long enough, I lie here a few minutes more and try to decide how long it's been. Finally, I decided that enough time as passed for it to be a few hours. I decide it's time to go find Caleb. I make my way through hallway after hallway asking hospital staff where to find the Psych Ward. One lady actually took pity on me and walked me there. I thanked her and she quickly walked away.

"Excuse me, I'm here for Caleb Prior." I ask the attended at the desk.

"You are?" The attendant isn't even looking up.

"My name is Four, I need to speak to him it's urgent. His sister is awake." Alright, I'm getting frustrated.

"Only family can see him."

I speak in my Four firm voice as if he was a initiate back in Dauntless who just pissed me off. "I said I need to see Caleb Prior. Now show me where his room is." When he finally looks up, he sees something in my face that makes him quiver.

"He is in room 32 down the hall." he said pointing the way I have to go.

"Thank you," I say as I turn on my heel and head in the direction he indicates.

When I reach the door, I take a deep breath. I think the best strategy to use here, is put some serious fear into Caleb, which I am happy to do.

I open the door and I see he is lying on a bare mattress. There are restrains attached to the bed-frame but they lie uselessly on the floor.

"Get up Caleb." No response. I move in close and grab the fabric of his shirt and put my face up to his. "Caleb you listen and you listen good. You are Tris' brother. She is alive. You need to grow a pair and go help your sister. So help me Caleb, if you do not get off this bed..." I grab his arm and start pulling on it. He is dead weight like a five year old refusing to get out of bed.

"I killed her." Escapes his mouth in a whisper.

"She isn't dead. She needs her brother. " I say sternly. That's all he needed to hear. Like breaking him from a spell, he lifts his head and looks in my eyes. "She's alive?"

"Yes, she is alive, but she is confused. She thinks she is back in Abnegation, she thinks she is fifteen again. She is asking for her family. She has forgotten everything about me. I haven't told her about your parents. You need to get over yourself, get off your ass and go help her." Going from scary to pleading with Caleb .. anything for her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **Tris P.O.V**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tris' dream sequence~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm alone and it's dark. I'm neither cold nor scared. I look down and notice I'm no longer wearing my typical gray dress. No, that has been replaced with tight, boot-cut black jeans, and a black V neck shirt. Something from the corner of my eye catches my attention and when I turn my head, I see a giant Ferris wheel. I notice the familiar wear and signs of age of the relic from times long before us. It feels familiar to me. Like I have climb it before. I reach out to touch ladder and the whole thing disappears.

What emerges in front of me is a dark path, beyond that are giant rocks, I hear what sounds like giant waves hitting rocks. It almost looks like a cave of some kind. I turn around trying to figure out where I am, but it all looks the same to me. No one around just rocks and the loud slamming noise of water. Then it all goes black.

I open my eyes, now I'm on a bed. The small apartment is empty other than a bed, desk with a chair, a couch and a coffee table. On the big, long wall in front of the bed are words. FEAR GOD ALONE. It fades around me and feel myself wake.

I feeling sleep still trying to pull me under but I fight it and open my eyes. It must have been hours since I fell asleep. The room is lit by the light fixture in the ceiling, no longer by the sun coming in the windows. There is a woman sitting next to my bed. She looks towards the ground not yet realizing that I woke up.

"Hi." I say hoarsely.

"Hey there. How are you feeling?" She re-adjust herself so she is sitting up straighter.

"I'm really thirsty." In hopes she can help.

I watch her stand and walk towards a table and grab the pitcher and pour liquid into a cup. She has a kind smile, very gentle. She walks back to my bedside and she helps guide the straw to my mouth. I can't help it, I gulp the water down as fast as I can. When the cup is empty I lay my head back on the pillow.

"Better?" She asks

"Yes, thank you." I say smiling showing my appreciation.

"No sweat." She grins. Placing the cup on the night table next to us.

"Four said you may not remember me. By the look on your face, he was right. My name is Christina. We met on Choosing day, on the train." She smiles at the memory.

"So we're friends?" I verify.

"Best friends." She reaches for my hand, in what I assume as a gesture.

In Abnegation we aren't supposed to use much physical comfort. This feels foreign to me. I return the smile, wanting not to disappoint her. She seems very kind, honest, and caring.

"Four is looking for your brother the last I spoke to him. He also said he might try and sneak in a nap. Which is an extremely good thing. Intimidating Instructor Four is one thing but Mr. Grumpy Four, no thanks." She giggles a little.

"So we're really close then?" I ask, needing to know all information I've missed. Still not wanting to believe I am awake.

Christina tells me all about the past few months. She excitedly describe initiation. Apparently I was a capture the flag hero, attacked by 3 other initiates and impressive when it came to fear simulations. She tells me how she found out that Four and I were dating and about him rescuing me. She tells me about her fear simulations but can only tell me that I was fast in mine. When she describes capture the flag I note her part of the story with the Ferris wheel which has me thinking. As she tells me about Erudite and the simulation, I would tell there were something that she was living out. I can only tell that it is something that painful but I didn't want to intrude too hard.

She is about to continue with the story, but someone softly knocks on the door. Soon after the knock, the door squeaks open just big enough for a head to fit. At first, he wears a guarded face. Then quickly, a smile appeared. He looked so happy to see me. I swear I feel butterflies moving throughout my stomach. What a gorgeous smile!

"Hey you're awake! Can I get you anything?" His tone as changed since this morning, more alive, happier.

He opened the door wider and let himself in, followed by another gentleman. At first I didn't recognize him, he looks older, taller, and wears dark expression, guilt. "Caleb." I say.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

I enter Tris' room. I'm so pleased she's awake smiling and talking to Christina. If I didn't know better I would think she is back to her old self. Caleb is right behind me.

"Hey you're awake! Can I get you anything?" I ask her

Caleb is still thinking this is a trap. Maybe thinking that I am somehow seeking revenge. If I thought I would get away with it, he would be right, but then one he would be right, but than again I could never hurt Tris like that. It's clear she wanted to save Caleb, me hurting him would make her sacrifice be for naught. No matter how angry I feel. I wouldn't physically hurt him. I am resisting every urge not to keep him though, some of it still slips out.

I stepped closer to Tris' bedside. Usually I would kiss her forehead, seeking comfort. Her expression is still guarded telling me that she still doesn't know who I am. I place my hand near her hand instead. Our eyes meet, and although her eyes are guarded there is a familiar comforting look staring right back at me.

"I'm OK. Christina has been keeping me company. Catching me up...with almost everything." She glances back at Christina with a thankful smile.

"Has the Doctor been back in yet?" I ask glancing at both of them.

"No, not yet." Tris answers, looking down. I know she wants answers as much as I do.

"Caleb you look hell!" She says looking finally at her brother, trying to make a joke.

"Yea, I've been better. Glad you are still with us, Tris." He is still looking everywhere but her. Half of me feels terrible for the guilt he is and always will be carrying. Only half! The rest of my is still plenty vengeful.

"Tris? Not you too! Why Tris?" She sounds aggravated.

"When you joined Dauntless, you had to jump from a roof top into a net. When you landed, I pulled you out and asked you for your name. You started to say Beatrice but than stopped I told you, that you can chose another just make it a good one. A new life, a new name, just like me. You said Tris. "I explain.

"I... I have a question, when I was asleep, I kept having these strange images. Does anyone know what FEAR GOD ALONE means?" She asks, looking at each of us one at a time.

Christina frowns, and shakes her head. Caleb gives her a confused "no." When she looks at me, she can tell I know what she was talking about.

"You know," she accused me.

"Yes, those are the words painted on my wall in my apartment. How..." I trail off, then gather my bearings and restart. "Do you remember?" I ask her, shakily.

"My dreams were strange images, mostly looked like places."

"Like what?" I ask her.

"Um.. I saw the Ferries wheel, I saw giant rocks and heard water splashing against them. I also saw an apartment. On the walls were the words FEAR GOD ALONE. Do you know what all these places are?" She questioning me.

"The first one, Ferris wheel" I start.

"Yea Christina said I claimed it to find the other team's flag. When we played captured the flag." She cuts me off.

"That's right, but what Christina doesn't know was that I was with you, the whole time. I saw you starting to climb it, and without thinking started right after you. I wanted to stay with you, to spend a little time with you, get to know you. That's the night we started to really form a connection.

"The giant rocks are the Chasm in the Dauntless Compound. That is where we had our first kiss." I sigh

"The apartment is mine."

"What were you guys doing in your apartment Four?" Christina jokes with a huge grin.

"Not that." is all I answer giving her a dark look.

Just then the Doctor appears at the door and knocks twice, even thought he knows we see him.

"I see you have visitors, glad you're awake. I have your test results. First off, your leg and arms will be coming out of their slings in another few days. We will place a more brace- like cast on your leg so we can start you on physical therapy. Your arm needs a little more time to heal. Now I'm not going to kid you, you are in for a lengthy recovery... and very painful. If you don't have a setback, you should be out of this hospital room in about three months."

I look at Tris and think, she is strong, the physical part isn't going to be the problem.

"What about her memory?" I ask, knowing that is the answer everyone is waiting for.

"The MRI came back clean, we feel that Tris' mind went under a lot of strain when she exposed herself to the death serum, on top of the injuries that she sustained when the memory serum was released. She was too weak at that point for her mind to fight it off entirely. Now, that said, she is 100% pure Divergent which is on her side. I am hopeful her mind and body just need to heal, once she does.. the problem should reverse itself." There's our answer.

"Are you sure?" She stares at the Doctor clearly frustrated. I swear if she wasn't in slings she would probably hit him. I grin, she almost feels like her again.

"I suggest taking it slow, speak to your family friends and, Fiance and let them help you try to get some memory back. It's going to take time. You've been through a lot. Hows your pain?" I place a hand on her shoulder.

"Not yet, I want to talk." she replies, almost pouting like a child. .

"Let me know if you need anything. Page the nurse when you are ready for more pain meds" He turns and walks out.

"FIANCE?" Christina, Caleb, and Tris all say at once with similar expressions of shock.

"Um... Mathew told them I was, so I can be Tris' next of kin. Remember, Caleb was..." I didn't want to finish that thought for Tris' sake.

"We are not engaged. Maybe one day, but not right now." I feel like I'm trying to save myself from this attack. I hear Tris let out a sigh of relief. I on the other hand feel emotional. I would love the thought of being engaged to Tris. She is my everything. Why wouldn't I want to show that. I love her, she is my world.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 **Tris P.O.V**

It's been a week since I woke up. My legs are no longer in a sling, and my right arm is in an independent sling held around my neck. Tomorrow we start my physical therapy. I had some nerve damage from the bullets. The pain is bearable as long as I don't move too much, which makes me nervous about tomorrow.

Four has stayed with me... I can tell I have really manage to scare him. Always hesitates when he needs to leave the room. He is very thoughtful though, always making sure I don't need anything before leaving. They said that the leader of the Bureau, David is the one that hurt me. Although he was affected by the memory serum, they assured me that he doesn't remember me or shooting me.

That first night, I was conscious, I asked Four to stay with me. It was really awkward. I knew he was torn between not wanting to stay and scare me and not wanting to part from me. I felt the same pull... I didn't want this amazing, caring stranger to leave me alone. Even though I don't remember him, the feeling of being safe and loved is overwhelming. They brought in a reclining chair, a pillow, and blanket for him. After all our friends left, he asked if he could get me anything. All I wanted was more information. Some were innocent questions about friends, and enemies. Some questions were a little more intimate. When I asked him questions regarding sex, we both turned bright red. He explained that we had sex one time, the night before he left for Chicago and I stayed behind to fulfill my mission. He didn't go into full detail, probably trying to be a gentleman. Once exhaustion started to take me over I'd ask the nurse for my nightly meds. Which was something strong enough to help with the pain so I was able to sleep more comfortably. Then he would help me brush my teeth by bringing me my toothbrush, an cup of water and a empty cup, he would also bring me a wash cloth to wash my face. After helping me get ready for bed, he would turn the lights off and lay in his recliner as I laid back. Even in the dark, I could feel his eyes burning a hole right through me.

After that, the nights fell into routine. We would talk for hours, and then he would simply help me brush my teeth and wash my face. I can see why everyone says our love is magical. The strength I see in his eyes... the devotion he displays. Although I don't remember having the love they describe I can feel it with every glance from him.

He is very cautious though, trying to make me feel comfort in his presence and nothing else. He hasn't tried to kiss me, or hug me, and only entwining our hands together when the pain is the worst.

One night he thought I was sleeping and he ran his fingers down the side of my face, he said he loved me, and he knew I was still in here. To some I would think they would feel creeped out, or even uncomfortable. Instead, it comforts me, his eyes showing nothing but love and concern all the time.

Tonight, we eat supper in my room. He tries to entertain me with a game of Spades... but it doesn't last very long before I lose interest in the game.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" He asks, eyeing the expression on my face.

"Yes and No, I'm in so much pain all the time. Can't imagine how it's going to feel tomorrow." I express my concerns.

"It if hurts a lot let them know, I'm sure they won't want to cause more damage to you." He places his hand gently on mine. I couldn't help but notice the familiar and comfort the touch gave me.

"You alright?" He asks gently,clearly concerned.

"Yea, just sometimes things seem so familiar, and other things feel foreign to me." I sigh in response.

"Does this bother you?" He asks shyly, motioning to our hands touching. "I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything." He says with complete sincerity.

"No it's one of the only things that seem familiar. It feels right, that's what makes it so strange. I look at you and I don't know you. I'm sorry. But then you touch me and it is like this box wants to explode but never happens." I say cautiously not wanting to upset him.

"I guess I can understand that. We'll figure this out Tris, Beatrice. Whatever happens I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." He says with a sigh. "Are you ready to go to bed?"

"Yea, I should rest up." I say laying back.

He gets up and pushes the red button for the nurse to tell her I'm ready for my meds. He then walks over to the sink and turns on the water filling up a cup. He brings me a cup half filled with water another empty and my tooth brush and tooth paste. As I'm brushing my teeth, he goes back and wets a wash cloth. When I'm done I hand him back the items and he rinses them out for tomorrow's use.

After the nurse administers my meds into my IV he continues with his routine, brushing his teeth, rinsing his mouth, washing his face, and then excusing himself to the bathroom. When he comes out, he asks me if I needed anything. When I respond "No, thank you," he turns out the light and makes his way to his recliner.

"You must be sore from the chair?" I comment.

"Not so bad, I've slept in worse." I can't imagine how much worse...

"Good night." I say

"Good night. Sleep tight." He says with a chuckle

"Four?" I ask, nervously

"Yes, Beatrice."

"Can you hold my hand, at least until I fall asleep?" Although in Abnegation this was something only married people could do, and it was still frowned upon if done in public. I'm growing used to the comfort, when he is nearby and touching me.

"Of course, anything for you." He responds quickly and sounds eager.

He reaches out and lays his hand entwined with mine on my bed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

I always knew, from the moment Tris jumped into Dauntless, she also fell into my heart. The first moment I saw her falling into the net, I could see she was Abnegation. When I helped her out of the net, I looked into her eyes and was memorized. That's all it took. Love at first sight, cliché as it sounds, but I see it now. Sure, I didn't want to admit to my feelings for her at first. Not wanting to be rejected, not wanting to let someone in and be abandoned, again. I just never thought someone would ever really love me, even now when she says she can't remember me, her love is so strong that she feels the same pull. I cannot imagine how confusing this must be for her.

She asked me to hold her hand until she fell asleep. I was quick to do it. Loving to have her skin touch mine somehow sends electricity through me. I wonder if she feels that too? I know that it's only a matter of time before she may remember something. She dreams about images she says. Every morning she tells me about them and I try to explain what they are if I remember them or try to help explain a time she may have experienced them if I wasn't there...

She saw my apartment, the Chasm, the dorms, the Ferris wheel, Eric's office, and the last one was the fear simulation room. Yet, she never dreams of people, always of places.

I encourage her to take all the time in the world. We will figure it out together... I'm not going to lose her again. It's been hours since she fell asleep, I can't bring myself to let go of her hand. I just stare at her face so peaceful asleep.

I must have fallen asleep.. what wakes me is the sound of the heart monitor going a mile a minute. Concerned I ran to her side, placing both my hands on either side of her face."Tris, Tris, Tris." saying her name over and over raising my tone little higher than the last. Her eyes are still closed, sweat is pouring down her face. Is she having a nightmare? What's happening? I was about to call for help, when she finally lets out a scream and lifts her head. She stares up into my eyes, I'm still holding her face in between both my hands. When she finally starts to breathe regularly and her heart rate starts to slow I release her.

"Shhhh Tris you were having a nightmare." I try to comfort her. Tears are threatening to escape her eyes.

"You were there. You had a gun. You were shooting people." She isn't making any sense. I would never harm her.

"Shhhh Tris Shhh calm down. Do you want some water." I turn to grab a cup for her, but she tugs on my arm keeping me in place.

"You had a gun, you shot people, I couldn't move. I couldn't help you. I was hurt... someone was carrying me, running with me. You looked so scared." She places caresses my cheek with her hand. I can't help but lean in.

"Do you remember anything else about the dream?" I ask her.

"We were in a big building, trying to escape." She takes a deep breath.

Could it be she is remembering our escape from Erudite with Peter?

"You know what I'm talking about don't you? That wasn't just a nightmare." Shes look in my eyes, already knowing the answer.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep. We can talk more in the morning." Not sure if I can explain what happened to her.

"Tell me please! I need to know." She pleads

"Alright, if it's what I think you are dreaming about then yes. It did happen." I take a seat on the edge of her bed, holding her hand, trying to think of a way to explain such a long confusing story.

"Jeanine Mathews and others were hunting for Divergents to perform experiments on... she tricked you into giving yourself up. I tried so hard to keep you from doing it, but you waited until I fell asleep and snuck out in the middle of night. She performed numerous of experiments on you. The memory that you dreamed of was our escape. Peter injected you with a serum to make it look like you were dead but you really weren't. They were going to kill you that morning, so he felt like he owed you for saving his life. I still remember it so clearly, the door to my cell opened and he walked in with your limp body in his arms. I never felt so lost.. Even though he told me immediately that you were injected with a serum to paralyze you and to make it seem like you were dead..." I sigh looking down to the floor, I can't meet her eyes. "Peter carried you, I'm a better shooter than he is. That's what you are remembering. I didn't care what I had to do, I just needed to get you out of there and somewhere safe." Taking a much-needed breath, I finally look up into her eyes. "I hope I haven't frightened you." Regret lingers within, maybe I told her too much.

Many minutes pass, we just continue to stare at each other. Still holding hands, but before long she releases me and surprises me with a tug on my sleeve. When my body leans closer to her pull, she puts her good arm around my neck, I quickly respond to her embrace and place both my arms around her body as carefully as I can. She whispers into my neck, like she is telling me a secret. "I can never be afraid of you. Even my forgetful brain knows that." She says trying to make light of things.

"Go back to sleep, you need your rest. I'll stay awake and make sure no more bad dreams come and get you." I say trying to comfort her.

"What would you do if they do come back."

"I fight them off with my bare hands of course." I laugh remembering the last time we said this exact same thing in Amity.

She smiles, leans her head back on her pillow, and closes her eyes, never letting go of my hand.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 **Tris P.O.V**

It's been almost two months since the shooting occurred. My legs and arms are no longer in casts. _Which I am thankful for._ Having some independence back feels nice. I am able to take a shower on my own, and go to the bathroom on my own.

Four continues to sleep in the recliner nearest to my bed every night. I continue to have dreams filled with images of the past. Four tries his best to explain the images to me, but there are some that he doesn't know.

Doctor Protel is positive that soon all will come flooding back to me. He says my dreams that are really images are my brain trying to work itself out.

I don't know what scares me the most... that one day I will remember, the love I shared with Four, the friends that I held so dear, or the loved ones that have been lost. I also fear that I may never get those memories back. I know I'm not the same person I see it in everyone's eyes when they look at me. Most are speechless and don't know what to say. Others just ignore me all together.

Since Caleb told me about our parents' deaths, he hasn't spent too much time with me. It's as though he is trying to slowly disappear out of my life, little by little. We used to spend hours talking about our childhood and how life changed after Choosing day, but slowly he would start making excuses on why he couldn't come and visit. It's been a week since he last came to see me.

My daily routine has become tedious... Four is such an early riser. He wakes up, takes a shower,and cleans up his recliner that has his blanket and pillow, it is almost as if, he has Abnegation in his blood. He wakes me up once he has gotten ready for the day.. Which usually is with a nice greeting and a caress on the cheek. He helps me out of bed and into the bathroom making sure I have my bearings before leaving me and closing the door behind him. Then we have breakfast in the room together in peace. We talk about our schedules for the day.

At first Four was stressed to spend any time away from me. As if fear were seeping out around the seams of his normally careful control, making him strangely agitated. He didn't want me out of his sight. It took a lot of reassurance that all would be ok, that I was ok. It took small baby steps at first... but now I think we both have a handle on a little time apart.

After breakfast he helps with anything I may need before he leaves for the day.

Four has been working long distance with Evelyn and the Bureau to ensure peace between Chicago, the Bureau and the other cities that are out there. It was a surprise that there are a total of ten cities that all have been cut off. The other cities are now working open all gates and to join forces for a better future.

While Four works on the peace treaty in the communication room, I too, do what I can from the comfort of my bed. Discussing all new policies and laws with Four... thinking of concerns, and questioning the motions that are being presented. Although I grew up in Abnegation and understand these laws, my time that I spent in school learning about other factions really help when it comes to discussing any concerns that may linger. I also have a feeling Four tried to involve me in hopes that something sparks my memory. He tells me that I am very perceptive and have a different outlook than the others he works with. He teels me he appreciates that I see things similarly to him, but usually from a different enough angle to make sure he sees the whole picture.

To addition to helping Four, I also have one hour of physical therapy every day, which takes a lot out of me, physically and emotionally. I'm drained on some nights.

Every time I see Four, I feel the spark between us, the yearnings to be near him, to touch him. When I'm with Four the rest of the world could disappear and I wouldn't notice. But the way Four looks at me at times isn't ideal. Like I'm an injured puppy that needs to be cared for and protected. It also doesn't help that I don't remember anything about Four. I also know Four keeps me at a distance... no romantic advances. Is he scared that he might scare me off? Or is it that he is scared I might leave him? What if that's not me? What if I can't be his Tris anymore? Would I end up hurting him? I have so many unanswered questions... Where do I, where do we go from here?

 **Tobias P.O.V**

Seeing Tris suffer the past few months not only physically but emotional and mentally has been torture. My number one fear right now is of pushing her too far, too fast. I want and need comfort her, but I don' know how.

She woke up believing that she was a happy normal fifteen-year-old back in Abnegation. Watching her suffer through her parents' deaths all over again was agonizing. I cannot imagine the bewilderment of waking up in a hospital full of strangers, with several bullet wounds no less. I cannot imagine how she feels with her last memory being of going to bed in the comfort of her own home, saying goodnight to her loved ones.

How do I help her get past something like this? How do we not lose each other? At first, I thought time and space were the best option for her. Being near but giving her enough distance. Giving her answers to all her questions, a hand to hold when the pain got to great, and a protector to make her feel safe. Now I'm second guessing everything when it comes to her. I am yearning to feel her next to me, to feel her lips against mine, for the passion that used to build when we both touched.

Thankfully, I have work to keep me busy during the day to keep my mind silent. I have been working with the council members, leaders of the remaining factions in Chicago, as well as leaders from other cities. Instead of dividing and surviving as individuals, we are working to make new laws to unite all cities and factions. Sure there are some not happy about the changes, but there is too much to be gained to not continue forward. Taking a position in politics was something I never thought I would be interested in, but there is too much work to do to turn back now.

Zeke, Hana, and Christina are preparing their return to Chicago... Christina is prepared to help restore order back in the city. Zeke and Hana ended up donating Uriah's body to the science lab under the condition that they are kept informed of his progress. Zeke and Christina are eager to feel useful again. Hana, won't let her only living son out of her sight. Orders for restoring the Hancock building have already begun. It is to become living quarters, open to everyone to live in... the building has one hundred floors and each floor is to have eight apartments. Many other buildings have also started being restored, also intend to be open to everyone.

We are no longer individual factions but working together to make the city whole again. Choosing day will no longer be about having to leave your family behind but choosing a career instead... giving everyone an option to live anywhere they want in the city. There is also hope, for the future to have the other cities that have been discovered to work as one Nation, one day.

We will also be leaving some people behind at O'Hare, Caleb and Cara have decided that their place is here researching and helping evolve the future of science.

I will wait here for Tris' release and then transport her back home. Doctor Protel assured us it won't be much longer. We all are eager to leave this place behind and continue to move forward. What the future will hold for both Tris and I remains a mystery. It was with that question that I seek out Doctor Protel approval for one night (just a few hours) of release for Tris. One night for us to reconnect, I have to try. We will never know if or when Tris will remember everything, if she will remain my Tris. My brave, selfless, smart, kind, and honest woman that I can't live without. I have to stop thinking of her like this. I have to show her the real me, I have to get her to fall in love with me again!


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

Today is going to be a long day. Christina and Hana are saying goodbye to Tris in her room while Amar, George, Zeke, and I are getting the Jeep ready for their departure back to Chicago. Arrangements are already being made for my departure with Tris that will take place in three weeks time.

"Did you load up the extra gas tank?" Amar confirms with Zeke.

"Yea, its in the trunk." Zeke responds securing another bag on the roof.

"You guys are set to report to Evelyn in Erudite in three days. There she will give you, your assignments and temporary living spaces. The building will be ready to move in next week." I explain loading the back seat with a bag filled with non-perishable food and water bottles.

"Dude, are you gonna cry? You know I'm gonna miss you too." Zeke jokes lightly.

"Why don't you give yourself a kiss, it'll make yourself feel better." I say rolling my eyes.

"Or that will just get me going." Did he seriously just say that? I punch his arm laughing.

"You guys kiss and make up." Christina chimes in.

"At least she knows where you're heart lies. Now give me a kiss." Zeke says as he leans in, lips puckered like he was going to kiss me.

I shove him back, "get away from me you dork." I say. We all laugh at the exchange that took place.

"It's time." Amar says approaching me with a arm extended for a hug. I hug him back. "Drive safe."

George holds out his hand, and I firmly but awkwardly shake it. "You look out for each other, alright."

"No worries, we got this." He smiles back.

"You take care of yourself, we will see you soon." Hana smiles and kisses my cheek.

"I'll see you and Tris soon, don't worry we will have things settled for her return." Zeke says placing a hand firmly on my shoulder.

"Thanks, I owe you." I say

"Well, guess that's it then. Take care of her ok and yourself. I got that thing you asked for, it's in a bag in the bathroom. You all set for tonight?" Christina asks.

"Yea, all set. Thank you. FOR EVERYTHING! Be safe. See you soon." I say while giving her a fist bump. Wow I'm really going to miss this annoying Candor.

I stand there watching them load in the jeep and drive away, until there is nothing left but me and the dust they jeep kicked up.

* * *

The steam of the shower calms my nerves but not for long. The nervousness I feel in my stomach is never ending. I don't remember ever being this nervous about seeing Tris, EVER. I just want everything to go perfect for us... to reconnect, to make her fall in love with me again.

I wrap the towel around my waist, and stare at myself in the mirror. Taking a much-needed deep breath, I raise the electric razor and get to work. I haven't shaved in so long... the beard makes me look much older than my 19 years. I want to look my best for her. Careful not to cut myself, I cut all the hair on my chin, lip, cheeks, and neck. I take another look in the mirror. Time to get dressed. Christina bought two sets of clothes... one for me to wear and the other is sitting in a bag on Tris' bed. The bag has a card that says to "put me on" with a time to be ready by. I pull out the black pants, and the red button down shirt. Wow Candor out did herself.

I can't look in the mirror, I feel like any moment my heart might escape my body and fly away. I take another much-needed breath, and pick up the single red rose. _I'm ready._


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

I walk slowly down the hallway, taking deep breaths as each step gets me closer to the door that I desire.

 _Knock Knock_

When she opens the door, I can't help it, my mouth drops open. I didn't know what Christina picked for her either... She wears a beautiful black silk dress, it flows well with her body. She v-neck allowing her tattoos to make an appearance. The dress ends just above her knees. She is wearing flat shoes, and her hair is down. It has almost grown past her shoulders.

"Wow, you look... beautiful." I say handing her a rose, and holding out my hand for her to take.

"Thank you, you clean up well yourself!" She giggles, "Where are we going?" She asks.

"It's a surprise." Still wide-eyed, she takes my hand.

We walk in slow and steady steps, making sure she isn't thrown off balance. I don't mind the slowness, we have all night.

We reach a door with the sign that says "Reserved for special event." I turn placing my hand the knob, and flirtatiously say, "I thought I owed you a long overdue date."

When I open the door, I allow her to go in first. Taking in the room she gasps. The room is lit by candles, rose petals lie throughout the room, a large black blanket is spread out on the floor, with red and black pillows. On the blanket are two wine glasses, two dinner plates, silverware, and a large picnic basket. A small radio is set on a low volume giving us slow, romantic music.

I close the door behind me and approach her, "One night... one night that it's just you and me. No memory problems, no medical problems, no war to think about.. just you and me getting to know each other again and enjoying this night." I say in a low comforting voice. Taking her hand once again and guide her to the blanket.

Her smile tells me that she is ok with this. I help lower her down. For once, she is speechless. I lower myself across from her; she watches my every move. I open the basket surprising her with mashed potatoes and B.B.Q chicken with green beans. All her favorites, she smiles even bigger.

"That looks good!" She says

Once I have served both of our plates, I open the bottle of sparkling cider and pour the liquid into the wine glasses.

"Glad you approve." I respond smiling back at her.

I hand her, a glass I hold mine up. "To us." I say and clink our glasses together.

"To us." She says and takes a sip. _Oh I never thought I would want to be a glass so badly. Stop that._ I tell myself.

I can't help but chuckle softly and place my glass down. She glances at me "What is it?"

"You're so beautiful." Is all that comes out of my mouth.

She smiles back and we begin eating our supper. When the last bite is eaten, I clean up the dishes. She watches me, I cant help but question her glance. "Do you like what you see?" I tease.

"Mmm maybe," she says with a coy smile. I am relieved to have some of our playful banter back. I really miss the old Tris' snarky quips.

"Well that's a good start." I smile back. "How about dessert?" I pull out of the basket a spoon and a small dish containing lemon custard. I place it between us, take the spoon and scoop up a bite. I bring the spoon to her lips. _Great now I want to be a spoon!_

"Will you dance with me?" I ask her as another slow song begins from the tiny radio sitting next to us.

"Um I would love to but I'm afraid I might fall." She says expressing her fear of falling.

"Don't worry, I won't let you fall. I'll hold on tight." I vow. I will never let anything happen to her again.

I stand up and reach out my hand for hers, waiting for her to make the choice to take it. It doesn't take her long to smile and reach out her hand. I help her stand, making sure she doesn't even have to strain to raise. When she finds her balance, I take both her hands and raise them to my neck. I then slowly lower my hands to her waist. I'm sure she can hear my heart racing, and my breath catching when our bodies are so close together. Out of habit, I rest my forehead against hers and start to sway us side by side, slowly to the music. Neither of us willing to break the hold we have on each other, we dance for what feels like hours to numerous songs which all blur together. When it feels like she is having trouble standing we slowly lower back to the blanket.

I pour her another glass of the cider "So what is your favorite color?" I ask not willing to allow the silence to overpower our night.

"Hmmm, blue. You?" She raises her eyebrows.

"Green. A nice subtle green." I mimic her expression raising my eyebrows.

She yawns. The exhaustion from the day is clearly taking a toll on her.

"Should I take you back to your room? You look tired." I say concerned.

"I am tired. I just don't want this night to end." She admits.

"Don't worry, we can have many more nights like this, if you want it. You are still healing and need rest too though." I stand up, reaching for her hand. I can't stop smiling.

"OK." She says taking my hand.

I carefully help her stand, but this time I wrap my arm around her waist and help her walk a little easier. We walk back to the room in comfortable silence. When we reach her room, I don't hesitate I open the door for her and step aside. After she walks in, I step in the room, closing the door behind me.

She turns her body and smiles, butterflies are going crazy with in me. I haven't seen her smile so much, in such a long time. I put that smile there. I can't squash this feeling of pride.

"Why don't you take the bathroom first, and get ready for bed. Are you in any pain? I can call the nurse for meds." Even though I'm in such high spirits, I have to make sure I haven't pushed her too far.

"No, No, I'm ok. Thank you though." She says as she turns to the bathroom. When the door closes, I turn to my duffle bag and pull out comfortable sweats and a black shirt to wear. I then start brushing my teeth. I can't stop thinking about what a wonderful evening this has been. I then realize that there is one thing that will make this evening even better. Will I be pushing her too far? Does she want me to kiss her?

Soon she exits the bathroom and I smile at her as we switch rooms. My thoughts are flying a mile a minute. Should I or shouldn't I? What if I think this evening was what I wanted, and not so much what she wanted? _Jeez this is frustrating_. I don't remember the first time being this way... I just reached out and kissed her. I was caught up by the moment of her finding out the real me, the real Tobias.

I exit the bathroom turning off the light and closing the door behind me. When I glance around the room, I find her already sitting on the bed. Her hair is brushed out, she has on pajama shorts and a tank top. She looks so content, so happy when she catches me staring at her. Without thinking my legs are moving toward the bed, I stop when I'm right next to her.

I smile down at her. "Sweet dreams, beautiful." I say.

"Sweet dreams Four." She says right back still smiling.

That smile is all it takes to make my choice. My right hand lifts and caresses her cheek like every night, but this time, I bend over slowly, taking in the moment. She doesn't hesitate, she closes her eyes and takes me in. Our lips meet, and the electrical pull is so powerful. We mold our lips together not breaking the kiss. Then I feel her stiffen under my lips, her grip that was holding my right hand tighten. _Oh no did I go too far?_

I break the kiss and pull away from her. I want to see expression. What I see is- the last thing I expected. Her eyes are wider. Her breath is heavy and uneven.

"Tris?" I say concerned.

"Tobias?" She says questioning.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

 **Tris P.O.V**

I'm sitting on my bed, thinking about how tonight has been so perfect. This night has been one cherish for a lifetime. Abnegation values come to mind, if we were in Abnegation going out on a date like the one we had is frowned upon. They would consider it to be selfish. In Abnegation, when a boy shows interests in a girl the boy has to seek out the approval from both sets of parents to pursue her. Then they usually change their volunteer assignments to what the girl's would be, to get to know each other. In order to hold hands you have to be married, for crying out loud. You have to miss out on so much to be considered selfless.

Four is the kindest, most gentle, loving man I have ever met. I can see why The Dauntless Tris would fall for him. He is gorgeous inside and out. I almost didn't want the night to end. He promises that we can have many more romantic night like this if it is what I want.

I know I was starting to have doubts, not sure if it was me he wanted or the old Tris. He is always watching me like I am a cracked glass, as if at any minute I would break into a million pieces.

Tonight he wanted to forget it all. Forget the past and just focus on what can be, on who I am now.

I hear the door to the bathroom open, and I see him emerge into the room turning off the light behind him. I can see it on his face. He is contemplating something, I am not sure what but I can see the internal battle in his eyes. . His eyes are locked on mine, taking me in. I can't help but smile widely at him, and he so quickly returns my smile. He takes three long strides towards me.

"Sweet dreams beautiful." He says. That name, the meaning behind it still overwhelms me. The way he sees me, I can't help but smile at him.

"Sweet dreams Four."

He moves slowly and cautiously, a wariness in his eyes, lifting his right hand to caresses my cheek. He does this every night, wishing me sweet dreams, touching, sending sparks through me, starting at my cheek. Tonight is different; tonight he has longing in his eyes. He then bends over slowly, maybe fear of rejection. But I won't reject him, I need to feel his lips, I need to feed this hunger I've had since I first laid eyes on him. As we draw closer, my eyes close on their own. I feel his lips barely touching mine. I take in a breath taking in his scent. The feel of the kiss becomes over powering, starting slow and becoming deeper. My hand finds the back of his neck pulling him closer to me. I feel entirely out of control... The love, the emotions, and the longing are overwhelming.

Just when I thought all control will be lost in this kiss, something else takes over. I can feel the hidden box that has been threatening to explode with every one of his touches. I take in a deep breath, not sure if I can breathe with this overwhelming feeling of multiple explosions.

Images that were forgotten start to come back...

Jumping into Dauntless, I laugh when I hit the net.

Four helping me out of the net asking for my name, My name is Tris. New name for a new life.

Shopping and getting tattoos with Will, Al, and Christina.

Getting attacked by Al, Drew and Peter. Four saved me.

Waking up to the words on the wall FEAR GOD ALONE, finding Four washing his bloody knuckles in the bathroom.

Seeing Al's body, when they pulled him out of the Chasm.

The fear landscape room, Four allowing me to see the true him.

Tobias taking me to the Chasm, where he kissed me for he first time.

Shooting my friend Will, it was him or me.

Seeing my Mom and Dad get killed, I couldn't stop it.

Fighting Tobias while he was in the stimulation, choosing his life over my own.

Stopping the war against Abnegation, Tobias stopping the program, and pulling out the data drive.

Seeing Evelyn alive again, the leader of the factionless.

The truth serum at Candor, coming clean with my regrets and killing Will.

Watching Tobias shoot Eric at Candor.

Four begging me not to turn myself in to Jeanine, I stood at the doorframe watching him sleep. Saying "I love you." before I left him.

Being betrayed by Caleb at Erudite

The experiments that were done on me in Erudite.

I'm tied down to a table, Tobias having to see me tortured and being forced to give up locations of the factionless housing.

Tobias running through the halls of Erudite with me on his back. Finding a closet, telling me to be strong for a little while longer. Kissing me.

I'm strapped to a table, being executed with serums. But I don't die, I breathe lightly and Peter takes my paralyzed body to Tobias and helps us escape.

Tobias helping me wash the cuts and getting glass out of my feet in the tub of Abnegation

"I'll be your family" he told me when I cried about my family; me dead parents and traitor brother.

Tobias walks in a room at Erudite and sees me fighting Tori. The betrayal on his face when he realized I was working with his abusive father, Marcus. Wanting to get the data that Evelyn wanted to be erased.

Escaping the city, to discover beyond the fence.

Tori's death in a field of grass, she's been shot.

Finding the Bureau, meeting Mathew and David.

The betrayal with Nita, Tobias working with her behind my back. The secret meetings at night.

The explosion that caused Uriah to be brain dead.

The doubt and fights that almost tore Tobias and I apart.

Making love for the first time with Tobias

His face when he said he loved me and that he would see me soon.

Spending time with my brother before walking him down the hall to his death

Deciding at the last minute to take his place.

Surviving the death serum.

David shooting me

My mother... she was there.

My body goes stiff under Tobias' kiss as the memories don't stop flooding back. My hand finds his hand that is still on my face. I grip his hand tightly, holding on for dear life, feeling like I need the anchor. When his lips finally leave mine... just like a fairy tale the spell breaks and the memories stop flooding in.

"Tris?" He asks concerned. Leaning back looking at my expression

My eyes feel like they might pop out of my head. I don't understand.

"Tobias?" Is all I can get out.

So many emotions appear at once on Tobias' face. "What did you just call me?" He says out of breath, a single tear escapes his eye.

"Tobias." I say again, not understanding the question.

"Oh Thank God!" he says, he kisses my forehead. "You remember me?"

"Of course I do. I could never forget you! I love you Tobias!" I say just in time before our lips crush together again, this time more passionate than I can remember. It feels like we haven't kissed in months.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

"I could never forget you! I love you Tobias!" Is all she has to say... I am overwhelmed as emotions wash over me. My lips crash into hers with the desire to be as close to her as physically possible. Could this be? Could I have gotten Tris back?

I break our kiss, needing to make sure this was real. Maybe I'm asleep in the recliner already...

"Say my name again." I ask of her.

"Tobias." She says looking at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe I have. "What's going on? Where are we?" She looks around, bewildered, at her surroundings.

"You don't remember?" I ask her.

"Umm it's little fuzzy, you left to Chicago and I stayed... I...I... took Caleb's place, I'm sorry I couldn't let him go, Tobias. I got past the death serum. And then... I don't know I can't..." She rubs her temple. She must be giving herself a headache.

"Hey, it's ok. Let me call the Doctor in. Everything is going to be ok." I reassure her, and reach out or the all too familiar red button.

"Yes?" The nurse responds over the speaker. "Are you ready for meds?"

"Can you page Doctor Protel please?" I ask.

"He went home for the night. Is it urgent?" She says

"Yea, Tris is gaining her memory back. The doctor asked to be paged the minute that happened." I answer her.

"Ok I will give him a call, he may not be in until the morning though." She prepares me.

"Thank you." I respond trying to keep calm.

She looks at me with confusion. She really doesn't remember. I place my lips to meet her forehead to help comfort her anxiety. I reach for her cup that is already filled with water sitting on her nightstand next to her bedside.

"Here drink some water." I hand her the cup and she takes it willingly.

"Can you tell me what in the world is going on Tobias? Stop stalling." She urges my answers. I forgot how pushy, direct, and impatient Dauntless Tris could be, I've missed it.

I take a deep breath not knowing where to start... "You are right about the death serum, you survived. David was waiting for you though. You released the memory serum, but not before he shot you several times." I cup her cheek with my hand. I need to get this off my chest, "You almost left me." I get out.

She gasps at my words. "We didn't know if you would wake up or not. When you finally woke up you thought you were fifteen and living back in Abnegation. You didn't remember any of us." I explain to her.

"Oh Tobias... I'm so sorry." She says finally breaking eye contact and looking at the floor. She must feel ashamed. "I...I would never want to leave you. I love you so much. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this." She says.

"I love you so much Tris, I honestly don't know what I would have done if I would have lost you." I sigh.

"What happened to David?" She asks.

"David is alive... I'm not happy about it. The others wouldn't seek judgment on him, they said that he is innocent now because he has no memory of it." I say, feeling the fire with in me start to boil at the thought of David.

"They're right, I guess." She responds, a look of exhaustion creeping into her eyes.

"Maybe you should get some rest, you were tired before, now you've gone through more mental trauma and you're still physically healing. We will figure it all out tomorrow." I say

"Can you hold me Tobias? I feel like we have spent so much time apart... I just need to feel you with me." Her pleading eyes bore into mine while she expresses her desire.

"Of course, anything for you." I crawl into the small bed next to her. She rolls onto her left side, resting her head on my left arm. I wrap my free arm tightly around her waist. She covers my arm over with her arm and laces our fingers together, holding on for dear life.

"Good night Tris, I love you, Ill be here when you wake up." I whisper into her ear.

"Goodnight Tobias, I love you too." She says with a yawn. I can't help but place one last kiss on her neck below her ear.

 **Tris P.O.V**

My eyes flutter open, I don't know what time it is. But it's either very very late or very very early. The room is still dark. The hold of Tobias' arms keeps me in place and feeling secure and safe. I feel his breath on my neck, it gives me even more comfort, and relief that I never thought was possible. It's like everything is falling into place... the war is over, peace is on the horizon, time to start a new life. One that only holds peace and love for me and Tobias something that we both disparately need and want. So much has happened between us in just the short time we have been together. I wonder what a normal and happy life will look like for us. I guess there are much-needed conversations to still have. I know now that I don't want to be apart from him even for a few hours. The need to never be away from him is stronger than I have ever felt. I sigh heavily at the thought of what lies ahead.

"Are you alright, Tris?" He says. I must have woken him. He never lets his arms loosen their hold on me. I nod, not able to find the words.

"Bad dream?" He asks, his voice full of concern.

"No, just couldn't sleep. Thinking about things." I answer trying to ease his anxiety.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks.

"Just thinking about where to go from here." I start expressing my concerns.

"Where ever it is, know we will be together. I'm not letting you go again." He responds full of love.

"Always and forever." I agree.

I slowly turn around to face him better. His eyes look so serious and full of regret. I wish I could take his guilt away. The desire to make him understand I can't and won't leave him. I lift my head willing for our lips to meet. He doesn't hesitate, he takes me in. The kiss is familiar and loving, starting slow, molding our lips to fit the other perfectly. But what started as slow and gentle, begins to quicken and becomes full of desire and urgent need. He cups the side of my head with his hand with the other still on my back but pulling me closer to his body. Passion builds between us, our breaths become more heavily. We break the kiss before the need becomes too great.

"I love you so much, Tris. Please don't worry about tomorrow, we will face whatever comes at us. As long as we are together." He says full of love.

"I love you too, Tobias." I say right back to him. I lay my head on his shoulder, and will the passion within me calm down.

 **I hope you guys enjoy the new chapters don't forget to comment :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

 **Tris P.O.V**

Sunlight streams in through the windows, and I'm wishing that I can go back in time just a few hours. I am not ready for the day to start, to not have Tobias' strong loving arms around me. I lift my head up slowly not wanting to wake him. He looks so peaceful, breathing in and out slowly. I feel my heart expand ever so slightly. Is it possible to love someone more and more every day you are with them?

I know the past few months have done harm to him... I can see the fear, the hurt, the relief, and the love in his eyes last night. His arms never loosened their hold on me last night. We have been through so much since the day we kissed in the cafeteria. Everything spiraled out of control, but it only made the love we share stronger. It should have broken us, should have permanently damaged us.

A knock on the door, pulls me out of my thoughts and when I glance at the doorway a man in a white coat is standing in the room. Must be the doctor.

"Well good morning Tris. I hear you gave us a surprise last night?" He says with a smile.

"Umm? I guess so." Is all I can say. I feel Tobias starting to stir next to me.

"Morning Doc." Tobias says.

"Good morning Four, must have been some night huh?" The doctor says glancing at Tobias with a smile.

"It was interesting." Tobias says, kissing my forehead. He then swings his legs over the edge of the bed preparing to stand up. "She started to remember last night."

"So I was told by the nurses." The doctor replied. Great, I hate it when people talk about me like I'm not even here.

"So how are you feeling Tris? Any headaches?" He says stepping closer to me, he reaches into his pocket pulling out a small flash light to shine in my eyes.

"Not too bad. I'm ok. How bad am I?" I ask nodding toward my other injuries.

"Well you have been shot multiple times, most have healed by now... except for the levels in your kidneys. We are waiting for them to improve little more. How's your pain?" He asks placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Just my head, not really bad at all." I tell him

"Good, I'll send in a nurse to take care of that headache. I'm hoping to have you ready for your journey back in just a few days... once your kidneys are ok. Its a long journey. Now, you remember everything is that right or..." He says glancing between us.

"She remembers mostly... but now she can't remember after the shooting. Is that normal Doc?" Tobias asks.

"I don't think there is anything worry about. Might be her mind protecting her from overload. She is young, and there has been a lot for her to deal with in such a short time. Give her time." He says looking straight to Tobias.

"Um you know I'm still here right?" I say waving my hands, obviously getting annoyed. I hear a chuckle from Tobias. I turn my head to glare at him, but can't help but smirk instead.

"Sorry, Tris. Just enjoying you being you again." He explains. How can I be mad at him for that?

"Was I that bad?" I ask needing to know what I put everyone through.

"It was interesting..." Is all he says

"Well Tris, we are going to give you a lot of fluids today and check on your kidney levels tomorrow see if they improving the way we need them to. Is there anything else that I can do for you?" The doctor questions.

"No, thank you. I'll be ok." I say.

"Alright, if you need anything please have the nurse page me ok. Tris, Four, have a good day, see you tomorrow." He turns and walks out the door.

"What do you say we have something to eat? We can spend the day together, maybe take a walk or something." Tobias says smiling at me.

"That sounds good, am I allowed to roam around?" I ask him.

"They encourage you to walk... it's good exercise, and you helps youre build muscle. We just have to tell the nurse before we leave." he says getting up and gathering his toiletries. "Why don't you take a shower first?" He suggests.

"Ok." I get up and head for the bathroom. When the door closes behind me, I breathe in deeply. When I turn around I see there is a sink, above it is a big mirror. There is also a toilet with a long string that says pull for help, and a walk in shower. I step up to the sink, griping the sink for support taking in the sight in the mirror, the image of a girl. It takes me a moment or two to even recognize myself. My hair is the same color but it's longer than it was before. I'm thinner than before, my muscles that I worked so hard at building have slimmed down some. Trying to swallow the big lump in my throat, I turn on the shower and start to strip down. Standing in front of the mirror, I discover scars of the healed bullet wounds throughout my body. I gasp,shocked. The ugly scars that are there now will haunt me for the rest of my life. They will haunt Tobias for the rest of our lives...

I step into the steamy shower, letting the hot water clean my body and release the tension. I perform my normal hygiene routine. When I'm done I lean against my arm that is up against the wall of the shower allowing just a few more minutes of the blissful hot water that is keeping me calm.

When I'm done and dressed, I step out of the bathroom to find Tobias sitting in the recliner reading a file... it doesn't take long for him to notice my presence. My damp hair is down, I'm wearing a black tank top, and dark gray sweat pants.

"You're so beautiful," he says as he sets down the folder and gets off the recliner making his way to me. Anticipation begins to stir with each step he takes. He places a finger under my chin to tilt my head up and brushes his lips softly against mine. The electric pull begins to strengthen and I notice my hands are moving on their own. One goes behind his neck and the other is holding a shoulder pulling him closer to me. Tobias wraps his one arm around my waist and the other is behind my shoulders. Our lips mold to each other perfectly, the pressure of our lips forcing my mouth to open and I welcome his tongue into my mouth. Just as quickly as the kiss started, it ended. Tobias pulls away from me. Both of us are breathing heavily, the desire in his eyes evident.

* * *

"I better go take a shower." he says with a smile and walks into the bathroom leaving me feeling cold where he was touching me.

After we eat breakfast that was delivered to the room, we decided to take a walk around the compound. Tobias makes me promise that if I feel tired to let him know and we would head back to the room to rest. Before we left the hospital wing we stopped by the nurses desk letting them know we were leaving for a walk.

We kept a slow pace while we talked.. Tobias fills me in on things that I missed while I was "checked out." He started with telling me about his trip to Chicago... tricking Amar so Tobias could steal away to Evelyn to talk into making peace with the Allegiant.

I gasp and my mouth falls to the floor when he told me that Peter injected himself with the memory serum. I never expected Peter to volunteer to erase his memory. Part of me aches for him to be happy, even though Peter was the devil. Maybe all he needs is a clean slate to move on.

He told me about bringing Zeke and Hana here from Chicago, he still feels the guilt of that terrible day and the hand he had in it. "I couldn't even face them when we got back, I'm so ashamed, Tris. I still don't deserve anyone's forgiveness in any of it." He says making me want to wrap him in my arms and shield him from himself. "Tobias it was out of your control. You need to stop. The best way to honor Uriah is to make sure his family is doing well, and continue to do good in the world. So his life isn't in vain." I say taking his hand in mine.

When I finally admit that I need a break, we head back to the hospital room. I drink two glasses of water not realizing how thirsty I was. Tobias sits on the edge of my bed, while I lean back and close my eyes. "Can't wait to be out of here." I say slowly letting each word sink in.

"It's getting a little boring around here for you?" He chuckles. Where have I heard that before?

"Just want to start having a normal life again. Move on from all of this." I say waving my hands around.

"Normal?" He chuckles "I wonder what normal will feel like for us." He says almost a whisper.

"Be nice to find out. The new normal." I say with a grin.

I feel his weight on the bed shifting, his body leaning towards me. When I open my eyes, I find his face right above mine. He stares at me with a loving serious look in his eyes, placing his forehead on mine like he'd done so many times before.

"As long as I have you, that's enough normal for me. I love you, Tris. I need you with me forever and always." He closes the gap between our lips, brushing our lips softly together. Our lips fit together perfectly moving in unison, before the kiss can lead to any further desire he breaks our kiss and places a final kiss to my forehead.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

Doctor Protel is giving the go ahead to get Tris home. She is finally stable enough to make the trip back to Chicago. Of course I'm in no hurry, as long as we are together the trip can take a week for all I care.

But because there is nothing to stop along the way, I must be prepared for anything on this trip. I load up the vehicle for the trip, prepared for any eventuality so that we can arrive safely. Also, there is one gun that is hidden under the driver's seat. Always better being safe than sorry, I won't take any chances with Tris' safety. Although we will make it with in a few short hours, I need to be prepared for any eventuality to ensure our safe arrival.

Things are different now that Tris has her memory back, nights with her are no longer spent on the recliner. We spend nights together wrapped in each other arms, just were we belong.

Doc said that Tris is still healing, he is providing muscle relaxers and pain meds to ensure she gets through the trip as easy as possible. It isn't a long drive but it is uncomfortable and if we were to blow a tire or something we could be a while.

I sigh heavily, anxiety sneaks it's way with in me. We leave in just a few hours, once the sun has risen. Tris is in side finishing packing her duffle bag while I load and inspect the truck.

Last night, Caleb and Cara joined us for a farewell dinner. I can't imagine us returning to this place once we depart from it. I am so frustrated with Caleb these days, the need to put distance between us is unbearable. I promised Tris that if she was to forgive her brother that I would put effort in as well. The urge to cause him bodily harm still lingers with in. The thought that he almost cost his world his sister due to such a selfless act on her part... and he can't even attempt to spend time with her.

Cara presented great news to us last night. She announced that new serums that have been created by Dr. Protel have increased Uriah's brain function by 25%. They are confident that they can perform the much needed miracle. That news brought great hope to us all.

Cara and Caleb also announced their relationship last night. Apparently, they have been dating for a while and waiting to confirm it was serious before coming out with the news. I still don't know how I feel about that. Cara is a good person, and I don't know if my judgment on Caleb clouds my feelings on them getting together. It isn't my place of judge either way.

The one thing that amazes me still about this place is the sky. It is filled with so many stars and looks so peaceful compared to the city. It reminds me of the night I shared with Tris, just a few nights ago, she of course knew I was up to something. Keeping anything from Tris was harder than anything. No mater what she always sees right through me. When I went into her hospital room around nine at night and insisted on taking a walk with me, she knew I was up to something. We never took such late time walks. When I had her start walking through grass, I swear she thought I was going insane. Of course, her face was priceless when she saw the big blanket I had laid out along with pillows, and a picnic basket in the middle. The basket didn't have anything fancy, just a few snacks and drinks. We laid there on the blanket for hours talking, laughing, kissing and looking at the star lit sky. There is nothing more I ever want to do... to spend forever with Tris in my arms.

 **Tris P.O.V**

Just a few more hours until we are far from this place, I feel like the time is not passing fast enough. I'm checking the room to make sure neither one of us has left anything behind. My bag is all packed and I'm more than ready to get on with my life.

Last night at dinner Caleb and Cara announced their feelings for each other. To my surprise, I am happy for both of them. Growing up, Caleb has always been so busy with his books, reading them, hiding them... I was never sure if he would get his noise out of the books long enough to even notice a girl. I'm glad that when I leave he will have someone that he cares for, and that someone to care for him. Cara is a wonderful person. I can't think of anyone else I would prefer for my brother. Although I will miss them... they will be happy and making a difference in this world.

My attention is taken away to the nurse that just walked in with a stack of discharge paperwork; she explains my instructions for further care, and my medications for the road. I sign where she tells me, then I am free to go. Relief washes over me... It feels like I'm breaking out of jail.

Tobias pops his head in when we are done "All set? I'll get your bag in the truck, why don't you meet me in the cafeteria so we can have a warm breakfast before we leave?" He suggests smiling bigger than I have ever seen him. Clearly, he is ready to get far away from here, same as I am.

"Ok I'll meet you at a table, is there anything in particular you want?" I offer.

"Eggs, and bacon. Don't forget the coffee." He says. Of course, I wouldn't forget the coffee, where would the world be without coffee.

He takes my duffle bag and walks out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts. I look around the room taking in the moment and just like that, I walk out. So many times things could have turned for the worst in that room. I an glad to move on.

I walk down to the cafeteria, getting in line and grabbing two plates of eggs and bacon with a side of fruit and two cups of coffee. Our table that we always sit at is empty, it's still early enough that the cafeteria isn't crowded yet. As I sit, waiting for Tobias to join me, two things get my attention. Mathew walks towards me with a smile, and the other is David who is getting a cup of coffee. Thankfully, David has forgotten all about me, thanks to the effects of the serum. He has been advised to never come near me though. Clear threat from Tobias, just in case.

"So I hear you are leaving us? And without a goodbye!" Matthew says.

"We are leaving right after breakfast, I was hoping to run into you." I say.

"I will miss you Tris, it's been interesting. I wish you and Four the best!" He says bending down to kiss my cheek and then he turns and walks quickly out of the room.

Moments later Tobias walks in and without hesitating he takes his rightful place next to me.

"Thank you! I'm starving." He says picking up his fork

We work on our plates, until they are empty. Tobias gets up to throw away our plates.

"Are you ready?" He asks eagerly.

"I am." I sigh happily in response. I get up and take his hand and we make our way out of the building. Tobias holds the door to the truck open for me and helps me in. Always a gentlemen! When he gets in, he starts the engine and pulls away from the compound. Silence lingers for a few moments, I can't help but look in the mirrors back at the Compound. But then he reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers together, resting them on his thigh.

"Let's go home!" Is all I say

 ****** Thank you all for the amazing comments and reviews :) I hope you all continue to enjoy!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

We have been on the so called road for a while, Tris has managed to be comfortable surrounded by pillows. She even fell asleep for little over a bit. The drive back is peaceful. Luckily there has been no sign of trouble so far.

"I love you." I hear her say, when I glance at what I thought was a sleeping Tris I see she is giving me a please don't kill me smile.

"You need to pee again, don't you?" I ask confirming her intentions.

"Please!" She says showing even more teeth behind that smile.

"No more water for you." I say preparing for us to pull over. "Will you be alright?" I ask her

"I think I can manage, thank you." She says leaning in for a kiss before exiting the truck.

I can't help but watch her walk towards the tress. The way her body moves, she will always have my full attention. When she is out of sight behind a tree, I start looking around our surroundings. I see what once was a gas station, across are buildings that once held multiple shopping stores. Poles are still standing with fallen wires, and street signs are on the ground. _Talk about a ghost town._

I hear the truck door open, and Tris attempts to get in on her own. The last stop we made, she made it clear that she didn't want me helping her for everything. "I'm not made out of glass, I won't crack and break" she told me. I see her wincing as she tried to pull herself into the tall truck.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" I ask hate watching her struggle like this. I can so easily help her. _My stubborn Tris_. She just holds up her finger and gives me that don't you dare ask me again look. By her third try, she finally says with a sigh "Tobias, can you help me?" Usually I would love to take this opportunity up to say a comment on how I told her so, or why didn't I think of that. But I can tell those three tries exhausted her.

"Of course," I say quickly getting out of the truck.

"No, I told you so," she says.

"Me, say that? Never!" I say helping her into the truck. _Stubborn girl_

"You want something for the pain?" I ask her concern on the expression she wears.

"Mmmm no, I'll be fine." She says arranging the pillows to support certain body parts.

"Ok. I'll be right back, will you be ok for a moment?" I say, might as well go while we are stopped.

"I'll be fine." she says with a chuckle. I close the truck door behind me and make my way to the trees.

When I get back in the truck, I give Tris a kiss and put the truck in gear and we are off again.

I start hearing growling next to me... I know it must be Tris' stomach. We haven't eaten anything since the Compound and we have been on the road for a while now. I decide to pull over and wake Tris for lunch. I found what look like an old rest stop. It has several tables, chairs, and a parking lot.

"Tris, Tris, Tris wake up. Lunch time." I say with my hand lightly shaking her shoulder.

"I'm not ready to wake up!" She says sounding like a toddler.

"Alright fine I'll eat all the sandwiches on my own... and you can have the canned food." I tease.

She opens one eye, glaring at me, and I fight the urge to laugh at her response.

"You wouldn't dare! You love me too much," She says.

"Maybe I do." I lean over and kiss her softly.

We eat our lunch on the tables enjoying the sun, and continuing our teasing. It feels good to be us. Normal, is it? Just Tobias and Tris... what more can I ask for right now?


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

 **Tris P.O.V**

I see the gates of Chicago creep up, and although Tobias slows down, we don't need to stop at the gate anymore. There are no guards, and no more guns, no security checks.

"We will start taking the gates down in a few weeks, there are other pressing matter to take care of first." he tells me.

After a few minutes of passing the gates opening, we can see how much the city has changed in such a short time. Roads are smoother, many buildings have been restored and many more are in the process. The city is breath taking. The streets are cleaner, no more no one is living in tents, trash cans are not lit to provide warmth, everyone that is out and about have purpose written on them.

"Wow," escapes my mouth.

"Yea, this is something." Tobias says.

When we pull up to the Hancock building both Four and I are memorized. It used to be crumbling disaster it was crumbling down, all windows broken, and doors. Now the building is filled with windows, the building has a fresh coat of paint, the double doors as the entrance are glass, it even as a nice landscape in the front.

I glance at Tobias with the same dumbfounded expression... we both slowly get out of the truck. I can see the driving as taken a toll on Tobias. He is, dare I think it, STIFF! He is stretching his arms above his head and I can't help but start giggling at the sight.

"What is so funny?" He asks

"I think we might need to get you a cane there old man!" I tell him teasing him with a big grin

"HA HA thanks. You do the driving next time." he says walking around to meet me at the curb.

He reaches a hand out for me to take "Shall we?" he says with the biggest smile.

"Let's do it." I take his hand and we start walking towards the building.

The moment we step into the doors, I start hearing someone familiar yelling my name.

"Tris O.M.G Tris, Four! You guys are here!" Christina says with joy, running towards us with open arms. She embraces me first and then she turns to Four and takes him too.

"Wow it's about time, how was the trip?" Christina says already taking my arm in hers and starting to lead us further into the building.

"It was long, someone kept having to pee." Tobias says smirking. We all laugh.

"Well then, I will show you around and then let you guys rest..." Then she turns to Four and in a deep low voice she tries to imitate him, "Follow me!"

We take the elevator to the second floor, when we get off, we see a big open floor. It's filled with couches, a huge TV, a few computers at the far end, and a few tables that look like they are meant for card games, and other entertainment needs.

"This is the entertainment room, it's a shared space, we all can watch movies, dance, play games, and so on. Be careful Zeke got really good at poker, that man can clean you out of your points." She says and then turns back to the elevator

"Before we get back on... floors 3-5 are already full, some apartment through out the building are taken as well. They are dispersed based on the size that is needed. Floors 3-10 are more for single people, then, as you increase on the floor you will increase the size of the apartment. I'm saying this because I'm wondering what floor you want me to stop on." Christina asks the question I have been wondering myself for weeks.

"Let's check out floor... 20?" I say looking at Four. Hoping that he doesn't want to be apart from me.

"Mmm Ms. Tris Prior are you asking me to move in with you?" Four says pulling me closer to him.

"I think we have spent enough time apart... don't you?" I say wrapping my arms around his neck.

"20th floor huh?" Tobias takes a deep breath looking into my eyes, searching for his answer. "Alright, 20th floor it is." he turns and ushers to Christina.

"Cool!" She says as she pushing for the elevator button.

When we get off the elevator, we notice that Christina leads the way down the hallway filled with doors that lead to apartments. I ask to look at the corner apartment since the door is open. When we walk in, I have the feeling of home. The apartment is so open and filled with natural lighting. We step in and we are immediately in the living room, which has a TV, two nightstands that are dark wood, two black leather couches, as you walk through towards you right is an open lay out kitchen with an island that opens out to the additional dining room. The hallway in the back of the apartment leads to one master bedroom with a huge en suite, and three additional bedrooms and one other bathroom. All rooms are fully furnished.

I look at Tobias and he is taken by this place as much as I am. "This can be our home!" I say reaching for his hand.

"I like the sound of that. Our home!" Tobias says pulling me in for a kiss.

Christina clears her throat, "Well I think I'll leave you guys. I'm on the 4th floor along with Zeke... Ill check on you guys later." She says leaving us alone.

"This is a big apartment, you sure Tris?" Tobias says still holding tightly in his arms.

"Yea, who knows when our family might grow, we need the space for it." I hint to him.

Tobias is speechless at my boldness, but something tells me he likes the idea of starting a family.


	26. Chapter 26 Epilogue

**Chapter 26**

 **Epilogue**

 **Tobias P.O.V**

Growing up in Marcus' house back in Abnegation, the place I lived was Marcus' house. I never really thought about it as my home. It felt more like a prison, it got so much worse when Evelyn faked her death. I no longer had a mother to protect me, a mother to share the good and the bad... After Evelyn left, the image of having a family, and a home became a distant fantasy. Who would want me? I was a broken boy, not capable of being loved and sure didn't know how to give it.

That all changed when I saw Tris.

************ this was written in the book Chapter 52 and 53 Allegiant*****

When her body first hit the net, all I registered was a gray blur. I pulled her across it and her hand was small, but plain and in all ways unremarkable-except that she has jumped first. The stiff had jumped first.

Even I didn't jump first.

Her eyes were so stern, so insistent.

Beautiful.

But that wasn't the first time I ever saw her. I saw her in the hallways at school, and at my mother's false funeral and walking the sidewalks in the Abnegation sector. I saw her, but I didn't see her; no one saw her the way she truly was until she jumped.

I suppose a fire that burns that bright is not meant to last, we came close time and time again to that fire almost burning out. Each time it felt like a test of our faith, we fought every step of the way not just for each other but for what we believed in.

We came so close to losing it all that it made all the precious moments we spent together that much more sweeter.

After moving back to the city, we decided that we had spent enough time apart, and didn't want to waste another second apart. We moved in to a fairly large apartment with the intentions of filling our home with laughter and joy not just of the two of us but one day the sound of our children.

Our first Christmas we spent together was unforgettable. I surprised Tris with a Christmas tree and decorations two days before Christmas. Growing up in Abnegation it was considered selfish to celebrate Christmas. So I wanted to celebrate it right... We spent that night decorating the tree and the apartment laughing and kissing. We held a huge Christmas Eve party, everyone important to us came.

"Can I have every ones attention please?" I say clicking a knife to my wine glass. "Both Tris and I wanted to thank everyone for coming out tonight, we love and cherish all of you so much. We are grateful to have all of you in our lives, to celebrate our lives with. So to add to yet another celebration being shared." I took a deep breath and turned to Tris to her surprise I pulled out a small black satin box out of my pocket and got down on one knee. "Beatrice Prior." I smile and hold back a chuckle saying her full name. "You are bravest, kindest, smartest, most honest, most selfless, most beautiful, and sexiest woman I have ever known. Before you I felt empty, like a part of me was missing, I was never complete. I thought I wasn't meant for love, never meant to have a family. But when you jumped into that net, you not only jumped into Dauntless but you fell into my heart. You made me compete, you made me into a better man. I promise to love you forever and always. Oh, and always put the seat down." I laugh, and reach to wipe a single tear that escaped her eye. "Will you make me the happiest man and be my wife?" As I say the last words I open he box and look into her eyes. Without any hesitation she says "Yes" We celebrated that night until the late hour.

The next morning Tris was so excited it was Christmas, she woke me up early in anticipation to give me m present. She had it ready for me to open it in bed.

"Open it, open it!" I laughed at her excitement and tore the decorated paper away from the box, in it was a shirt with words on it. "World's best dad."

My mouth dropped open, when I looked at her she had tears in her eyes. "I'm pregnant!"

Yea that was a great first Christmas and the beginning to a very Happy New Year!

For New Years we all got a special surprise at the building when Uriah walked in the front door, asking for Dauntless cake.

We were married in the spring, Christina arranged the ceremony to be held in the park. The flowers, and, butterflies, provided beautiful natural decorations. We were married surrounded by all the people that we loved in this world. Cara and Caleb came out from the Bureau, Caleb was honored to give Tris away. Zeke was my best man. Of course he needed a few slaps in the back of the head almost every five minutes with his remarks. But no matter what was going on...Tris took my breath away when she appeared at the end of the aisle... that magical day. We vowed ourselves to each other leaving the past in the pas and walking hand in hand to the future. Vowing never to leave the other.

 **Tris P.O.V**

When Abigail finally made her arrival in our lives, she couldn't have made us any happier. Words couldn't describe watching Tobias kissing and loving my baby belly.. It only got better once she arrived. He was wonderful. When she was fussy and wouldn't sleep he would cradle her in his big arms and walk her through the building. He would talk to her, whisper sweet things to her, and tell her stories. Sure in the beginning he had some fears that he would become like Marcus, but when he looked into her eyes I saw that feeling leave him instantly.

After Abigail, we waited a few years to have Anna, and then Andy. Our house was complete, full of happiness and love. Sure, Tobias and I had our ups and downs but love never lacked in our home. Five years later we had another surprise... I gave birth to both Alexander, and Alexis. Our family was definitely complete then. We couldn't have been happier.

Today was one of the hardest days. We vowed to never leave each other, to cherish each other in sickness and in health until death do us part. With the support of my friends, our children, and our grandchildren we placed Tobias to rest. Its been sixty three years since I jumped into the net. The one choice to slice my hand and let the blood spill on the coals, changed my life. So much loss, so many tears, new life, and so much happiness. Teaching us to cherish every moment life gives us for you may never get another moment to cherish.

But I will never say Good Bye... for I know I will see him soon!

" **To be Brave, you must live**

 **To live, is being Brave!"**

 **I wanted to thank all my readers that have enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! :) There are more projects to come. I hope you all continue to read and enjoy those as well**

 **I special shot out to** Lady-Draco79 **who helped me so much a** **long this journey :)**


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